Fashion
The 7 things I think every morning when I stand in front of my wardrobe
I really struggle with the title of this piece, because I mean: only seven things? SEVEN? I don't know about you, but I think of a hundred thousand things when I stand in front of my wardrobe. But I admit, an editor sometimes has to keep themselves a bit strict. Otherwise, everyone clicks away. And that would be a shame. Because against all expectations, this has actually turned out to be a really nice piece. Maybe I can submit it for some kind of contest. That I win something? But okay.
1. Today I'm going to choose something without too much fuss, and... I'll wear it too! What a good plan. Maybe I'll actually be on time for work again.
2. But seriously, bitchez! With this wardrobe, no one can get by, right? How is it possible that I just never have anything nice to wear? I try so hard. I buy new things every month. But somehow I can't manage to create a workable wardrobe. And that, dear people, is just deeply sad.
3. Look, there hangs my incredibly beautiful dress from Masscob. Oh, how flashy it is! I just can't wear it today because it's raining and it's 18 degrees. What a huge rip-off this summer weather is.
”I recently bought an incredibly nice ripped Levi's nineties jeans, so that's what I'll wear. Now just a shirt”
4. By the way, great label, that Masscob, I should have a lot more items from them. But yeah, do I have a money tree in the garden? NO. I don't have a money tree in the garden. However, other people seem to have money trees in their gardens. At least it seems that way, because everyone looks hipper and more expensive lately than I do all the time, but I'm getting sidetracked. FOCUS.
5. I recently saw a very inspiring picture with an incredibly chic, lace gypsy dress from Zimmermann. And the model wore the most amazing brown suede sandals from Tabitha Simmons with it.
6. Do I perhaps have a chic, lace gypsy dress hanging in my closet? Or brown suede sandals?
7. No, I don't have a chic lace gypsy dress hanging in my closet. And no brown suede sandals either. Why did I think I would have those? What kind of world do you live in, Renske Hoff?
Sorry, I apparently think of really more than seven things when I stand in front of my wardrobe, so I'm going to keep going.
8. Well, you know what, I guess I have to put on a pair of jeans again. I recently bought an incredibly nice ripped Levi's nineties jeans , so that's what I'll wear. Now just a shirt. Don't I have a really nice conceptual top or something? To compensate for the rips in the jeans?
9. Yes! I have a really nice conceptual top. But it's dirty. Or at least: in my mind it's dirty. Because I wore it the day before yesterday too.
10. Okay, let's see if I have anything else. Maybe I can actually get that one nice lace blouse on now? After all, I've lost half a kilo since last week (don't ask how).
** tries to stuff herself into a lace blouse size M **
11. Fuck that! Still six hundred kilos too heavy to get that blouse closed! Well, then I guess I have to wear the conceptual top from the day before yesterday. Luckily I was somewhere else then and no one can catch me on it. At least that's something.
12. Well, I can almost leave the house now. Just need to think of the finishing touch for this outfit. Which shoes do I choose? Mm. I seem to have NO SHOES that match this. What now? What kind of hell is this anyway?
** Sends a message to work that traffic is tough **
