Happy & Healthy
THE 8 ADVANTAGES OF LARGE BREASTS
Our May has already extensively informed you about the advantages of small breasts. But to not forget all the women with large breasts, here is my piece on the advantages of large breasts. Because I have large breasts. Logical, otherwise I would obviously be totally unsuitable to write this piece. Okay, here it comes.
1. You always have a good reason to buy a very nice expensive bra.
If you have large breasts, you just need a good bra for support. Simple as that. Otherwise, really strange things happen. But! You’re not going to buy some ugly old lady bra, no, you certainly have the right to a NICE bra? Go shopping. Life is good.
2. You don’t have to do complicated tricks with toilet paper for a nice décolleté.
Look, I don’t know if this is still a thing, with toilet paper and such, I don’t have small breasts after all, there’s a chance you only do this when you’re 11, but anyway: a good number of dresses and tops only look nice if there’s a nice décolleté involved. I’ll name a few options: a strapless dress, a V-neck top, or a dress with a V-neck. And you can just put those on. And that’s great, because there are plenty of clothing items that you actually can’t wear, that list is actually just endless, I’m not even going to start on it.
3. Russian sex is very easy.
Personally, I didn’t know that this little thing in bed had a special exotic name. But you can do really fun things in bed with large breasts. For example, sliding tools back and forth between your tools. Did I really write this down? OMG, I really wrote this down. Sorry mom.
“Discount on clothes if your seller is at least a straight man with a love for large breasts..”
4. You are always nice and soft and you make a good pillow.
It may be that you like to be bony and such, there are people with a fetish for bony, but personally, I like to be nice and soft and voluptuous. Moreover, I make a good pillow while watching TV. Not for myself, that would get a bit complicated, but for my boyfriend.
5. You always have a little table with you.
In the bath, you always have a little table with you where you can place your magazine while you’re lying in the bath or on the couch. Or at least: you can lean/set a magazine against it. Super handy.
6. You have a good reason not to participate in that ridiculous boot camp stuff.
Jogging and running is really so annoying with large breasts. And don’t come at me with that you just need to wear a good bra, because you still have to carry the weight and I’m telling you: that’s just a disaster. Especially during boot camp. Which weird people find that fun? I DON’T GET IT, it’s way too heavy, I’m already about to puke after ten meters, I’m sure of it.
7. One button loose and you get everything sorted.
Some things are just impossible to sort out, but if you loosen one button, you can indeed get it sorted. Take for example: getting into a terribly difficult bar, free drinks, discount on clothes if your seller is at least a straight man with a love for large breasts and I won’t reveal any more of my lucky breaks.
8. You can’t wear a bralette and that’s actually just very unfortunate.
Yes sorry, this is not an advantage, but I’m just really bummed right now that I can’t wear a bralette. Can I just? For those who don’t know what a bralette is: it’s a lovely tiny lace trinket without any support or whatsoever. Check out this fantastic bralette from Urban Outfitters for a moment. You know what it is? I think everyone who can wear a bralette should stay out of my sight for now, because otherwise, unpleasant things are going to happen. Things you don’t want to experience! So watch out!
