Fun & Famous

THE HELL THAT POSING FOR A REAL PHOTOGRAPHER IS CALLED

I have maneuvered myself into the dire situation where I am not a model (obviously), but I am posing for real photographers all the time. Now you might think this is really fun because you have those who-would-have-thought photos of yourself, and that might be true, but there is a hefty ordeal that precedes it.

My dear Holland's Next Top Model neighbor photographer Dirk Kikstra (who once gave me) this refuses to photograph ‘ordinary’ women. Because they think he will suddenly bring out the top model in them and then they will fall sobbing on the studio floor when they see the result. That is indeed beautiful, because Dirk is a great photographer, but he cannot suddenly give them ten centimeters taller, eight kilos lighter, and the bone structure of Maartje Verhoef being able to gift.

Now I certainly do not expect to become a Maartje, Nimuë, or anyone else. But even to reach the most fun version of yourself, I go through a chain of embarrassing yet laughable situations every day.

1. The photographer is gone

Recently, I had to pose with Lilian for the campaign photo of a really fun project for Renault. We were standing in a dark and steamy Sugarcity (an old sugar factory near Amsterdam that is now completely empty and abandoned) where the Twingo was fantastically lit, but everything around it was quite dark. Lil and I had to take happy and energetic poses. At one point, we thought we had found it, came up with the perfect pose, jumped, gave it our all, and looked expectantly at the photographer. He had just walked away... Only his camera was still there.

2. The photographer does not respond

When you are being photographed, it is important to take a different pose with every click. Otherwise, you end up with forty identical photos, and that doesn't help. Sometimes you look sideways, then straight, and then down so that you all get different photos in a smooth movement. The most uncomfortable moment of all is when you take a pose that you find a bit exciting (because who knows how that will look on camera, I didn't study for this or anything) and the photographer doesn't click. Recently, I stood with my eyes closed facing the sun. I had such a Lancaster feeling about it. But the click from photographer Vivian did not come. Apparently, she was a lot less enthusiastic.

3. Shouldn't you be in class?

I once showed a press photo that was taken for Holland's Next Top Model to my friend who has a modeling agency. I was quite happy with the photo because my outfit was fine (check), my hair looked nice (checkcheck), and I looked nice and slim (checkcheckcheckchampagne). My friend looked at it extensively. “You are beautiful, Maytje. But shouldn't you take posing lessons?”

So if you ever think behind your desk: that life of those online types is so glamorous and exciting, just think about the humiliations I endure daily. I eventually did take that posing lesson. Read here the result. Maybe you will benefit from it too.