Drama

A NAME

THINKING OF A NAME FOR YOUR CAT

My friend and I have been the happy owners of two treasures of cats: Monza and Luna for years. Recently, Luna suddenly decided that there should be a nest of mini-Lunas. “Fuck San, did you forget her CAT PILL?” I can still hear myself saying it.

A few weeks later, four kittens completely terrorized the house. Just ask the iPhone chargers and the curtains. The worst part was: I couldn't even be mad at those fluffy little creatures. But they just had to go. Look, “I have two cats” sounds nice. Then you’re a normal person. “Do you have pets?” “Yes, six cats.”, that sounds crazy. Then you suddenly become that dirty cat woman cat lady from the corner in a stinky little apartment where hairballs and puddles are everywhere. Not cool.

Then you suddenly become that dirty cat lady from the corner in a stinky little apartment where hairballs and puddles are everywhere.

After nights of political negotiations, Sander and I decided that one kitten could stay. As hysterically in love as I was, I posted a call on Facebook asking for cool cat names. My computer crashed quite quickly from all the names that came pouring in.

Sander spontaneously fell in love with one name: Andy. I thought Andy was downright a terrible name for a cat. In the end, it became Andy. I had nothing more to say because I had already thought of the name Luna. Okay, I’ll take my loss. But the name Andy kept gnawing at me. In the evenings, I whispered to him: ’You don’t really want to be called Andy, do you? You’re more of a little rascal, or a Levi.“ My friend got my cat whisperer practices after a few weeks and I could ‘rename’ the cat if I really thought Andy was that stupid. “I keep thinking of that nerd from What’s with Andy, or Andy Warhol. That’s just not cool?” I thought those were pretty strong arguments. My friend gave in.

For three days, I called Levi to a cat that didn’t know it was meant for him…

So Levi it became, just like the cat of a friend of mine. Great name. Andy didn’t respond to the name Levi. Because Andy was just an Andy. The poor creature was having an identity crisis. For three days, I called Levi to a cat that didn’t know it was meant for him. “Levi, are we going to eat? Levi! LEVI!!! Levi?!” Then we found it sad and he was called Andy again.

For all couples (and actually also singles) who want to get a pet soon: please choose a cool name (like Cat Disco for example from Lies). I will grab my Facebook options for you for some extra inspiration: Soofje, Puma, Mimu, Manolo, Boef, Christian, Flora, Karl, Choupette, Grace, Anna, Stardust, Matjang, Marilyn, Coco, Thunder, Carmen, Harimau, Nugget, Gulpje (?), Merrie, Chappie, Minoush, Muis, Pluis, Pelle, Elvis, Bodan, Cheffie, Tijger, Henk or simply: Cat. And then you can judge for yourself which names fall into the cool category.

Written by Kiki Düren