Happy & Healthy

GIVING CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

This is how you do it

You can all find each other so nice, sweet, kind, handsome, and pleasant, but you are working together, and that means you won't always agree with each other. Giving criticism is a lot less fun than throwing compliments, but it has to be done.

1. Keep this in mind

From friction comes shine, a day without a conflict is a day not worked well, and more of those clichés with a high truth content. I always think of my ballet teacher who was the strictest with the most talented in the group, precisely because she wanted to get the best out of them. See criticism as a compliment. Even the meanest messages on Instagram or Facebook always make me think in a certain way.

2. ‘But’ is forbidden

The word ‘but’ only has a negative connotation. “It was nice, but...” And then comes the misery. I learned long ago to shove the word ‘but’ in the trash and replace it with ‘and’. Try it out. At first, it might feel a bit forced, but it is so much more pleasant for both the sender and the receiver. “I read your piece and if you read it critically again and replace the clichés with your own metaphors, it's great.” Sounds a lot nicer than: “I read your piece, but those clichés again...”

3. Point for improvement

This is in line with the ‘but’ boycott. Don't say what was ‘wrong’. Assume that you have nice people around you who all did their best. Wrong is so harsh and takes away all desire to work hard again next time. Call ‘mistakes’ 'points for improvement' and see what happens.

4. Solve first

Something is going terribly wrong. At such moments, everyone is often incredibly busy pointing fingers at who might be the culprit. Wrong. Solve it and then look together at how problems can be prevented. You will see that everyone suddenly dares to admit that they might not have done it perfectly.

5. Give responsibility

Try not to solve and prevent everything. Then you will always remain horizontal and never go vertical. If you want to climb the ladder, you will have to learn to delegate. And delegating is letting go. And yes, it might go wrong once, and it might go differently than you would have done it. But if you steer well with the above tips (and you have good people, of course), you will see that you are suddenly surprised. And that something is delivered that you couldn't even have imagined. Then you will truly be satisfied and successful as a leader.