Happy & Healthy

DINING SOLO IS DONE LIKE THIS

by Kalinka Hählen

Dining alone, is it a necessary evil or is it a celebration? The latter, I think, although – to be honest – it took me a few years before I really felt comfortable sitting alone at a table. Of course, I love going out to eat with my favorite people, but when I'm alone abroad for work or when my friends have plans without me, I have no trouble dining alone at a table. Just imagine: the absence of a dining companion doesn't mean I have to fold a sad sandwich or soggy takeout lasagna from a deli around the corner in a hotel room, while there is so much delicious food to enjoy outside. Not everyone eagerly heads out in their heels to fight for a spot in the chicest restaurant in Paris or Madrid, but with my (experience) tips, hopefully, you'll find joy in it.

1. Do some research

Of course, you can just head out and see what you come across, but especially at the beginning of your solo dining career, it's a good idea to determine in advance where you want to eat. It saves you a lot of fruitless wandering through the streets, with the risk of returning home frustrated. There are plenty of address blogs, so you don't have to be shy about asking for tips, although choosing a blog that you trust in terms of atmosphere and taste is handy. Chosen? Reserve online if possible or call, then you're assured of a table and won't get any weird looks – people know you're coming alone. You also obligate yourself to go out.

2. Fear of the cold water? Start small

Are you already trembling at the thought of having to dine alone? Then just start with having coffee by yourself and lunch alone. Much more common, it all goes a bit faster, but it's good practice. Going out alone for dinner is actually the same, although the taboo surrounding it is greater. But why?

3. An informal atmosphere is easier

You can certainly go enjoy a seven-course dinner at a star level, but I usually get a bit nervous with the staff's snipping around me. It's easier to eat in a place with a more informal atmosphere with fewer stiff faces versus posh and overly attentive staff.

4. Dress up

Life is a party, but you have to hang the decorations yourself. Make something fun out of your dining party by dressing up a bit for the occasion. Really, lipstick and a nice outfit work wonders – not just for the service. I not only feel more frivolous because of it, but it also quickly dismisses any association with ‘sad woman alone’ to the land of fables – for others, because you're obviously not sad, so you don't have to feel that way. In countries with a strong macho culture, ‘looking good’ can sometimes be interpreted as an open invitation for pickup lines, but you can give them a big middle finger if necessary.

“Dining alone, is it a necessary evil or is it a celebration?”

5. Don't settle for a back table

A restaurant really wants your money and business, but two diners yield more than one. Many staff members tend to direct you to the less desirable spots – a crappy table next to, for example, the blazing oven or tucked behind a pole. If that's the only table in the restaurant and you really want to eat there, fine, but if it's not, you don't have to settle for that. Politely decline the offer and ask if they have another table. If the waiter shakes his head ‘no’ while there's a sea of empty tables behind him, feel free to leave and seek your fortune a door further.

6. Remember that eating at the bar can be fantastic

Yes, the staff sometimes refers you to the bar so you don't ‘occupy’ a table for two by yourself. That's not necessarily bad, especially in countries like Spain, where it's very common to eat some tapas at the bar, or in England, where pub food might taste best at the bar. In a busy restaurant, the bar is often the lively center, a lot of hustle and bustle that's good for hours of viewing pleasure. You also easily make contact at the bar.

7. Do what thou wilt

Look, you can dive into your Instagram like a digital zombie, have a blast making Snapchat videos, or read a book or magazine while eating, but you can also enjoy your food and what’s happening around you. A chat with the table next to you is easily made; you quickly notice whether people are in the mood for that or not. I have just as many interesting conversations as no contact with other diners, and all is fine – aside from that one time a solo dining American in shorts, hiking shoes, and a camera on his belly took our chat as an invitation to kiss and walked away offended when I firmly rejected his advances (read: the already pouted lips). Well, fuck you. Anyway: being selectively nice is allowed; you don't have to treat every prick to a conversation.

8. Eat what thou wilt

Okay, so you're in a place where not only the burrata but also the ceviche and the sticky toffee cake for dessert are hugely appealing to you. Don't hesitate or choose, just take three courses; it's your party. Add wine and water, the works. Sometimes it's handy to study the menu in advance, especially if you think you'll be more concerned about what others think of you once in the restaurant and can muster zero concentration for looking at the menu. You'll see: the longer you sit, the more relaxed you become. Enjoy!