Verbeter Je Leven
DISMISS, BE DISMISSED OR DEPART
This is how you keep it classy
“I’m not doing it anymore,” said a woman who has been running an extremely successful modeling agency for years. “Those girls say that I’m not continuing with them, call me cowardly, but I just can’t handle it.” I too have had to dismiss people in my life. It gave me a stomach ache. Or permanent rash on my chin. I remember that I was going to say goodbye to a colleague. A divorced, single mother. The Sunday before the Monday of the conversation, I was with my children at the bouncy castle and my stomach turned when I saw the daughter of the colleague in question sharing an ice cream with her father.
Saying goodbye hurts. Even if you stand behind your decision a hundred times, whether you resign or dismiss someone, you still have to tell someone that you no longer find the situation as it was pleasant. And that’s not fun. But there are tips to make it all a bit more bearable.
Don’t beat around the bush
I once heard that the magazine I worked for would cease to exist and that I would also be out on the street. My supervisor started the conversation very cheerfully and happily, gave me a dress for my newborn daughter and then told me that it would all come to an end. She meant well, of course, but it still felt a bit strange. Such a conversation is unpleasant anyway, so try not to make it better and start immediately with: “I don’t have good news…”.
Prepare yourself
This applies to both dismissing and resigning. The other person has the right to know why you are making this decision. As an employer, you are even obliged to provide reasons for dismissing someone. Preferably, you build a file. Now I must say that I find that something terrible. That you have been secretly keeping track for half a year of why someone is not functioning. But it is important to have it mapped out, because the other person will ask about it and then you can support your choice with facts. “You are often late” is so abstract. If you can really indicate how often someone was late, you are much stronger.
No room for negotiation
Also applies to both cases. The decision has been made, so try not to convince the other person to stay or not to dismiss you. It’s too late for that. Sometimes it’s a shame that people don’t make their wishes clear earlier and let irritations simmer and suddenly have another job. Then it’s too late to entice someone with a higher salary and more development opportunities. My tip: if you’re not completely happy, make it known. Then something can still be done.
” In order to discover new oceans, one first has to lose sight of the shore “
Stay classy
Of course, you are angry and hurt when someone says goodbye to you. But try to keep it to the facts in such a first conversation. If you are dismissed, listen to everything that is offered to you and do not react. Go home, talk about it with loved ones, ask for feedback from a lawyer and only then see if it is a suitable proposal. Usually, there can still be something added. Moreover, the employer takes into account a counterproposal. Furthermore, you show yourself to be a worthy negotiator who can stand up for themselves. Just as it works in your favor if you can negotiate your salary, you should also play this back with a straight back. But remain polite. And keep in mind that if you hire a lawyer, he or she will charge for every “Hi, how are you?” hard. So ask yourself if it ultimately yields anything and if you’re not losing everything you’re bringing in on one side to your lawyer. Such a legal battle costs negative energy.
Say goodbye
Learned from page doctor Rob van Vuure. Everyone deserves a goodbye. Everyone deserves a party and a word. Do that immediately after the last day. If you postpone it for a few weeks, no one is really waiting for it anymore and it becomes an awkward situation. Also, when you leave, take care of your personal PR. Write a card to your colleagues, buy a huge jar of licorice for the department so they think of you in the coming time, decorate a tea box or give, as my departing publisher did, a Nespresso machine so that we ‘finally had good coffee’ and ‘could think of her with every cup’.
Saying goodbye is never fun, but remember this: in order to discover new oceans, one first has to lose sight of the shore. It always hurts (in fact, being dismissed ranks third in the top 5 of the most impactful things in someone’s life). You need to mourn for a bit, but then something really fun will come. Bet?
