Fun & Famous

In 11 points catch up on The Voice

After we spent the whole (and I mean the whole) day yesterday talking about Expeditie Robinson (the breasts, the balls, the worm), we were ready yesterday with wine and snacks (one of the two is a lie, figure out which) for The Voice of Holland. And there is also a serious need to catch up on that.

1. First of all, why can apparently everyone in the Netherlands sing well?

Except for me. I feel more frustrated this season that I don't go through life ad libbing. Well, I do, but then everyone always runs off in all directions. But seriously, are those people somehow bred/raised/whatever? And can that be stopped? Even if it's just for those who are less in tune and for their ego? Thanks.

2. How many female singers has Waylon actually had sex with?

Or rather: how many female singers does Waylon ‘really know very well’? And why did Sheila say she knew Sanne, but not that she knew Waylon? That to me is solid proof of hard sex...

3. Did Ali B get money from John de Mol?

(or from a fanatical editor or from Frank Masmeijer) to turn for Charlotte Masmeijer? I mean: beautiful girl, nice voice, but this is really cover band-at-a-wedding level?

4. I think Waylon and Miss Montreal haven't exchanged saliva during these recordings.

He held her way too awkwardly when they dared to dance together in between, and if they really had ‘traffic’, Sanne would never have said that a candidate they all turned for had to choose Waylon. You don't say that if you still have a secret relationship, that would be way too obvious. Now she just said it in an undiscovered state of infatuation, bet?

5. But what a wild mess it must be back there, backstage.

With Guus and his stylist, Sanne and Waylon, and I know who else is undoubtedly doing it back there.

6. Wendy looked great.

Pretty, good hair, nice pants, and how cute was that blouse with the guitar print. Waylon also gets a picture of the teacher; nice and fit, off with the hat but still two slightly pretentious chains. That's exactly how you want a star to be, because boring in jeans and a T-shirt (yes Sanne, I'm talking about you, but your red nails and your breasts - sorry heart scene made everything good) and Guus, then Guus. I can only think that he has a relationship with his stylist and they talk together long, very long and extensively about his outfit. Or not because they have better things to do. Well, anyway, it was neat. Not very spectacular, but maybe that doesn't suit him either.

7. How is it that singers always recognize each other's voices?

But really immediately after one note while you don't know that person is there. I think that's impressive.

8. Just a moment about that Frank Masmeijer.

When I see that innocent, happy NCRV head, I can't imagine that he ever smuggled 450 kilos of coke between the bananas. 450 kilos. Do you know how many lines that is? But his daughter certainly didn't deny it and everyone found it completely normal (and funny) that Martijn Krabbé calmly asked if Frank was still there during the blind auditions. Anyway.

9. And about Martijn Krabbé.

I actually find him quite funny and good, and I even liked the round legs.

10. And also about Clarence Seedorf's brother. And his daughter.

You can't just do that. Couldn't someone have turned for that too? I mean, if you're doing it for Charlotte Masmeijer...

11. And then the daughter of Raymond van Barneveld, Daisy.

First of all: why can all the daughters of anyone suddenly all sing well (or well, at least reasonably well)? And why couldn't she suddenly do it? Well, I understand that, but it was a shame.

Okay, we're completely back in it. And with us 2.7 million other people. Next week again catch up? Bye!