Fun & Famous

What I think of Valentine's

“Lies, would it be nice if you write a post about what you think of Valentine? I have a suspicion, you see...”

That's what May texted this week. May has known me longer than today, so she indeed knew what could come. And you can probably guess it; I find Valentine's Day quite stupid. Mind you: I don't find love stupid, I just find this day stupid. As in: I think it's stupid that there has to be a day for love that serves no other purpose than commerce and that (probably unintentionally) brings a lot of misery.

I always feel extremely uncomfortable on Valentine's Day. A few years ago, my then beloved had reserved a table at a romantic restaurant, and when he told me that in the afternoon, I immediately got spots on my neck. I just can't handle sitting there among couples and acting overly romantic, so I didn't let that evening go ahead. Call me cold, call me frigid, call me insensitive, you just make me utterly unhappy by forcing me to participate with the masses.

During Valentine's Days without a steady love, it’s possibly even worse. I have never found it stupid to not have a boyfriend during single periods, but as February 14 approaches, it suddenly seems like the whole world is in love, and you can really feel a bit like a loser. There you are at home with your cat on your lap. Not that the rest of the world shouldn't be in love if you're not, but it suddenly becomes extra confronting.

“You know, that typical female behavior where they say one thing but mean another and assume that I, as a man, will understand that.”

Last week I was in my local pub and got into a conversation with two men who were at the table next to me. They both had a girlfriend, one was even already married. The married one said that he and his wife don't do anything special for Valentine's Day and that he actually finds it much more romantic to surprise her with a night out or a weekend away on a random day. And I completely agree with that. His friend was still in doubt. The woman he was seeing keeps saying she doesn't expect anything, but he still felt that if he indeed did nothing, she wouldn't like it. “You know, that typical female behavior where they say one thing but mean another and assume that I, as a man, will understand that.” Poor soul.

And he is right. It’s precisely those inflated and imposed expectations that make me find it a stupid day. I actually find it very nice and romantic to go out for a fancy dinner on a dreary Monday evening, or to drink a wonderfully delicious bottle of wine on a boring Wednesday evening for a cozy night on the couch. I don't have to do that on the 14th so that Hallmark and god knows who can cash in extra.

But well, it really doesn't matter at all. If you do get incredibly happy from Valentine's Day, good for you. But if you, like me, find it absolutely nothing, I’d like to invite you for a Friends marathon on my couch, because that’s what I’m going to do. With a cat on my lap, of course. And maybe also a glass of wine.