Happy & Healthy

WHAT IF SOMEONE AROUND YOU HAS ANXIETIES?

Sander and I are enjoying lunch on a cozy terrace in Budapest when we suddenly have to leave because I'm not feeling well. I suddenly have a panic attack (read here but how that started for me). While we really wandered around for three quarters of an hour to finally secure that f*cking terrace spot. His plate of truffle risotto is still half full, but we still ask for the bill. Four minutes later, I'm standing in an alley with sweat on my upper lip, whining that I'm dizzy and need to go home NOW.

If you don't recognize yourself in this at all, you might think: how annoying. That's right, it's quite irritating. Thankfully, I've learned to deal with panic (I even collected these anti-panic tips for you), but for ‘the other’ who has never experienced anxiety symptoms, this is also a difficult situation.

That's why I thought it was time to write a post for ‘the other’ in this story. What if you're dating someone who has this issue? Or what if one of your friends has panic attacks? Living with the biatch called a panic attack is also a bit like living with a manual. And therefore, it's time for the Great Panic Action Plan: what to do if the other suddenly goes totally craycray?

“What to do if the other suddenly
goes totally craycray?”

Stay calm yourself

I can imagine that it's incredibly difficult to watch someone you care about have a panic attack and feel terrible. At the same time, you have no idea what to do. Tip 1: stay calm yourself. Especially because the other is not. If you start flipping out too, you risk making the unpleasant feeling for the other even worse. Remember that it will all pass in the end.

Understand if the other needs space

When people with anxiety suddenly feel ‘overwhelmed’ by a stressful situation, panic can suddenly pop up. Sometimes this happens simply out of nowhere, by the way. Understand that the other needs some time to recharge at that moment. Sometimes they need a hug, a quick walk outside, or sometimes it just means being alone. If in doubt, ask what your loved one needs.

Always take the ‘problem’ seriously

Even though you might think: um, okay... Where's that panic coming from? Nothing is wrong, right? Fear is real. Really. You might not be able to imagine that someone finds it scary to be in an elevator or to get into a car alone, but the fear is there and can be very intense in that person's experience. Always try to respond without judgment.

Ask open questions

I often notice that it helps when I talk during a panic attack. That dizziness comes from hyperventilation, which comes from breathing incorrectly. The moment I talk, I automatically think less about my breathing. I think more people have this. So what you can do when your loved one is panicking is to ask questions. Ask what exactly is happening, what they are feeling, and how that came about. This way, you also show that you want to understand and are supportive.

“For ALL problems, there are solutions.”

Listen, listen, listen

I understand that you want to help the other ‘in need’ immediately and take action. However, this doesn't always work with anxiety. You can't decide for the other whether they are ready for that ‘action’. First, offer that listening ear, and then you can always see when it's time for that solution. Additionally: you probably can't ‘fix’ the other. If someone is truly struggling with panic attacks, a psychologist is much more qualified to help.

Be patient

During the peak of my panic, I sprinted out of the supermarket multiple times, had panic attacks, walked out during speeches, and ruined entire weekends because of that stupid panic, but my love was always patient, and that really got me through that period. airplane And if you still want to come up with a solution...

Intense anxiety cannot just be solved by a friend, no matter how much you would like that. If you really see that someone is struggling with anxiety weekly, it's wise to encourage that person to seek professional help. With the right tools, everyone can overcome the panicky misery.

And finally, remember this. Two years ago, I was sitting like a sad, broken feather on the couch, afraid of my surroundings, afraid of the supermarket, afraid of the panic. And look how light-heartedly I talk about it now. For ALL problems, there are solutions.

Sander and I are enjoying lunch on a cozy terrace in Budapest when we suddenly have to leave because I'm not feeling well...