Fun & Famous
WHY YOU SHOULD BELIEVE AMBER HEARD
You probably haven't missed it: Johnny Depp and Amber Heard have split up. With a bang. And you've probably also noticed that there is a huge mudslinging back and forth. Nothing new on the horizon: this tragic play differs little from many other divorces. Divorces that are less publicly experienced, but have just as dramatic a course. How often do people not fight each other over your CD, my CD – and more or less trivial matters?
Because this concerns a celebrity couple, half the world is getting involved in their break-up, via the digital village pump Twitter, Facebook, blogs, and whatnot. What doesn't interest me is whether you're pro Team Depp, for Team Heard, or from Team Switzerland, but what we do need to talk about is this: that Amber Heard is dismissed by many as a liar because of her claim that Depp abused her.
“You can think what you want, but it's not okay to dismiss Heard's allegations as lies without question”
Look, no one has consumed their marriage except for themselves. So no one knows how the fork in the handle is, except for themselves. You can think what you want, but it's not okay to dismiss Heard's allegations as lies without question. Abuse within a relationship is a big problem: there are millions of women worldwide – and slightly fewer men, but they exist too – who are abused by their partner, both physically and emotionally. It turns out to be particularly difficult to escape such a sick relationship. But not impossible: seeking help from outside, no matter how difficult, and talking about it with other people – preferably people who understand such disturbed connections and can provide adequate help – can be a solution. So we encourage victims of abuse to do just that.
How twisted is it that at the moment a celebrity claims to be abused by her husband, we nail the woman in question to the pillory and accuse her of lying, fabricating stories, and clever tricks to get his money? What message does that send to abused souls? Are you not actually saying that you don't believe them anyway? And that they might have asked for it or even be the aggressor?
I would think three times as a victim in a rotten marriage before seeking help after such statements. You already feel damn alone as a victim, and something like this certainly doesn't strengthen your hope that there are people who believe you, who can help you, and who have your best interests at heart. And that doesn't seem to be the intention, does it? Pretending that Amber is a little liar with a dirty plan is at best shortsighted and at worst an attempt to undermine equality.
“Abuse occurs in all layers of society; celebrities are certainly not exempt from that”
Maybe it's hard to believe that ‘our’ Gilbert Grape, Edward Scissorhands, or Jack Sparrow has behaved less than courteously – but it can happen, you never know. Despite the defensive stories of daughter Lily Rose Depp and ex-wife Vanessa Paradis – and what do they really say? The fact that you have never hit another woman does not mean that you will never do so; some people bring out the worst and the greatest anger in each other. Abuse occurs in all layers of society; celebrities are certainly not exempt from that. But choosing Johnny's side in advance because he is our favorite is at least as shortsighted as immediately condemning Amber.
What victims of abuse primarily need, I think, is to be taken seriously, that there is someone who listens to them. Maybe it's time to show that we are willing to do so, that we preach what we preach. Enough with shaming and blaming. Take both sides of the story seriously. Not so much for them, but for those millions of others. It helps them.
Written by Kalinka Hählen
