Fun & Famous

20X YOU RECOGNIZE THIS
IF YOU HAVE BROTHERS

‘Can you go check if it’s really a girl?’ That’s what my mother said to my father when I had just entered the world. Three boys later, I was there, the princess of the family. Yes, I carry that name for thirty years now. How wonderful it is to finally express yourself on a little doll with pink, bows, and sparkles after three boys? I had a tough time with those guys. But gosh, I wouldn’t have wanted to miss them for anything. I always said I wanted a sister, but I’m happy with the men around me. Do you have them too? Then you recognize this.

1. Bodyguard

Where you were, he was too. As the little sister, you have an army. Don’t think for a second that I was a punching bag. No one dared to say a wrong word, because then you’d have your brothers or their friends on your tail.

2. Man Talk

With men at the table, you benefit later. No bitch fights with sisters, but joining in on the man talk.

3. Going Out

I was ahead of my girlfriends because I got to go out with my brothers. And that’s where I got my first job as a coat check girl (yes, the wardrobe) in the disco. My brother behind the bar and I secretly drinking Breezers. My girlfriends were so jealous!

4. Getting Everything

‘Don’t tell your brothers, Simone.’ As a junior (and especially as a girl junior), you get everything. I was an Olily kid (cheers to the nineties) including colors. But my favorite was a powder pink ballet outfit with a tutu. And yes, I had matching shoes, a bright pink doll stroller, and a doll with the same outfit. After three boys, you get an overload of pink.

5. Hitching Rides

Never walking home alone because you could sit on your brother’s handlebars. I thought that was cool. Until my foot got caught in the spokes. There lay my brother with a concussion on the asphalt, and I came away with a bruise. But a nice story to tell once a year.

6. New Outfits

You didn’t get leftovers because everything was new.

7. Man Knowledge

Cars, football, man stuff… You were there with your Barbies and dolls among the Lego and K’NEX.

8. Babysitting

That strange babysitter passed you by, and with your brother, those evenings home alone were much more fun.

9. Travel Buddy

Want to go on a trip? You always have a buddy who goes with you.

‘Don’t tell your brothers, Simone.’

10. Slang Talk in Elementary School

Tough talk? You were already doing that in elementary school, your brothers dragged the Kiplings to high school. And you picked up that slang just fine.

11. A Bump

Ice skates, headbutts, a corner here and a pinch there. I survived it all and was always safe in a dark alley.

12. He taught you to suppress your emotions

Heartbreak? He was there, and not just with the box of tissues. He gave you advice and could view everything from a male perspective. And that’s why you’re now a pro in relationships.

13. You never have to hire a moving company

I moved fourteen times, luckily I have three copies. Still, one was always the victim… Sorry, L.

14. Got a job to do? Call your brother

Is your sink not draining? Call your brother. Assembling a cabinet? Call your brother. Washing machine broken? Call your br…

15. Tutoring

You had a brother at home who helped you with your math, economics, or French. Saved money on tutoring and was even more fun.

16. Comments on Boyfriends

Before that relationship showed up at your doorstep, it had already gone through the selection committee. And he did all that out of love for you. Now you understand that, back then it was less amusing.

17. Vanity

Men not vain? Come on. You know better than anyone that men can lock themselves in the bathroom for half an hour. Taking their time to shower, shaving slowly, hair in gel… Just as bad, the male gender.

18. An Example

Elementary school, high school, hockey club, music lessons… He showed you how to do it all, so you knew what was coming. And everyone already knew YOU even before you had introduced yourself.

19. Never Bored

You never had to be bored because brothers are ideal entertainment material. Firecracker (or firecracker trap): very popular on our street. I just joined in, in my loafers.

20. Be Home Before Dark

‘No, just bike with your brothers.’ An entire hour later, ha.

I have passed my title to my godchild, she is now the princess of the family. My pink doll? It’s now in HER stroller.