5 x How to do number two at the office

Sorry. Not the most elegant subject on earth, but ‘if you gotta go, you gotta go’ and since you spend a good eight hours a day in the office, there's a significant chance that a little poop (we have our own editorial terms for this kind of thing) wants to peek around the corner. I've gathered some pretty brilliant tips that I (being no stranger to this and an expert by experience) will share with you for free. editorial terms for this kind of thing developed) wants to peek around the corner. I've gathered some pretty brilliant tips that I (being no stranger to this and an expert by experience) will share with you for free.

1. Find your spot

Do you work in a large office? Then look for another restroom in an abandoned wing. You'll be nice and quiet and can go about your business undisturbed. The disabled restroom is also a good option, as it is rarely used. The downside is that if someone sees you there, it will be immediately clear what you've been doing. But that person probably has the exact same goal in mind, so you are partners in crime.

2. Flush and flush

Every little thing that leaves your, uh, ‘artist entrance’ should be flushed away immediately. Not very good for, but you don't care about that.

3. By the way…

Start your session with a flush. It creates a sound that drowns out any other grunts and sighs.

4. Bring a lot with you

If someone is impatiently knocking at the door, spray your perfume (this for example) and come out with a full toiletry bag. Just act like you've freshened up a bit, that's a bit more pleasant than the truth.

5. Announce it

I don't know how you are with your colleagues, but you can also be open and honest. Just say: ‘Guys, I'm stepping out for a moment, please don't come looking for me’ and I would say: leave the crime scene alone for a bit afterwards. Then all the pressure is off and you can go about your business in peace. Remember that others are dealing with the exact same problem.