6 STUPID THINGS WAITERS SHOULD NO LONGER SAY
Where I privately know exactly where I prefer to eat (definitely Toscanini in Amsterdam, Izakaya in hotel Sir Albert, Georges on Willemsparkweg or in the brasserie of the Amstel), I am often exposed to culinary adventures in my work. With varying results as you here could read. But there is more that bothers me. And not just me. I did some inquiries and proudly, joyfully, and with a hint of annoyance share our biggest waiter irritations.
1. Squatting next to you
I am not a toddler and as far as I can remember, we haven't played marbles together. Keep your distance. As far as I know, there is nothing wrong with my ears and I know how the ordering principle works. Just stay where you are. I also don't need to smell what you ate before your shift started. So.
2. “Do we have any allergies today?”
What do you mean ‘we’? You're talking to me, right? And if I have an allergy, it's a permanent one. Stop with that popular chatter, thank you.
3. Tonight we have prepared for you...
It's really nice that you're pretending you made it especially for me, but that's not the case. You know it, I know it, and it doesn't matter, but don't be so exaggerated.
4. Tonight we get to work with these ingredients
‘Get to work’? From whom then? From nature? Or from yourself because you happened to have those ingredients on your shopping list?
5. We're doing it completely differently, we're not working with a menu
a. It's not different because suddenly ‘you’ all aren't working with a menu anymore because that's suddenly trendy and b. where is that menu? Because I bet you're suddenly going to serve me fennel? Or pigeon? Or exactly that one thing I just don't like? Bet?
6. You may keep your cutlery with you all evening
Ah, okay. So I'm paying 100 euros for seven courses here and you're too lazy to give me a fresh fork in between? How does that work with the taste? Do I suddenly have to poke an avocado with my mayonnaise-truffle fork?
Things like that. If you think I'm an old, spoiled whiner, I understand that. But if it's exactly-how-I-want-it straightforward, then you won't hear me anymore.
