Christmas advice from Mariah Carey

Mariah, friend, I like you. That you are the queen of Christmas, we have known for a long time. But yesterday you made my Christmas heart (and it is HUGE) beat a little harder. None other than Ryan Seacrest asked on your Twitter how long it is appropriate to keep your Christmas tree up. You casually responded that the American holiday, the 4th of July, is a suitable time to take down the Christmas decorations. Sounds super cozy, but I'm afraid the Queen of Christmas doesn't do it for the romance. The child only sees dollar signs, because with her All I Want For Christmas Is You, her bank account continues to grow annually without her having to do anything for it. The song first played from the speakers in 1994 and has since brought in over fifty million euros.

365 days of Christmas if it were up to Mariah. So wonderfully modest, that girl…