DILEMMA

Your guest has drunk way too much and still wants to drive

It happened a few weeks ago. We were having a party and one of my guests was saying goodbye. That delicious thick Chardonnay and the gin tonics my partner had mixed apparently tasted great to her. Too great. She was drunk.

“How, uh, are you getting home?” An extremely awkward question, because what you’re really saying is: you’re tipsy and I hope you’re aware of that and have arranged appropriate transportation. Something like that. “I’ll drive myself. It’s just a short distance.” An answer I could have countered with a hundred things. Like: is it okay to get in the car after drinking as long as you only have to drive ‘a short distance’? Don’t accidents happen on ‘short distances’? And especially: what is the definition of ‘a short distance’ because the person in question had to drive at least thirty kilometers?

Don’t get me wrong, I also enjoy a drink. Sip. Glass. Or two. But I’ve made one promise to myself. If I drink something, I treat myself to a taxi. Nothing is too expensive to safeguard my life (or that of others).

If it had been a friend, I could have intervened. Now it was a business acquaintance and I found it difficult. You throw a party to make someone feel good, I don’t want that person to wake up the next day with a bad feeling because I insinuated that they were a bit too tipsy.

Of course, I had also suggested a taxi, but she waved that offer away. We both obviously had a very different view of her state of drunkenness. Since a sense of dramatic flair is not foreign to me, I felt bad that night. What if she crashed? Her children would have no mother anymore. And that because of our party.

I’ve pondered how to prevent this and I have four options:

a. No more parties. But that’s also so boring.

b. Say that the drinks are finished, but then I should also drink a bit more and I don’t have to drive.

c. Hide the keys. But that makes drunk people very angry.

d. Arrange a taxi service.

I fear, for my wallet, that it will be the last option. Remember that slogan from the good old eighties? ‘A drink up, let someone else drive’. And that’s how it is.

Amen II (formerly known as drop the mic).