Famke Louise has a new song and you're laughing your pants off

HOOOOOOOO. Stop the presses. My favorite guilty pleasure girl Famke Louise has a new song and you understand: this needs to be discussed. Just like with On My Money. A bit down today? Watch the Vroom Vroom video and your Friday will be complete again, believe me. Look, your Bad Video Clip Reviewer at your service. Alright, let's first see what has happened in the wonderful world of Famke.

Alright, seen it? Everything is going wrong again. First of all, the opening shot. Is she lying outside on a piano in the cold? Was Sannie involved again? Can't anyone protect this girl from that twenty years older man with the golden bling bling? Ah, luckily the familiar braids are back, that helps. And the middle fingers too. First, let's sing a bit. ‘Maybe I'll buy a Bentley... Maybe I'll buy a Honda.’

Aaah, we're going on Lil’ Kleine-tour, I get it. I wonder for a split second if Famke knows what a Honda looks like. And if she even has a driver's license. We're moving on to the Vroom part. ‘Vroom, Vroom, Vroom, Vroom, Vroom, Vroom, Vroom, Vroom.’ Is it just me or is the intonation of that ‘vroom’ intentionally made a bit sexier? Or did she secretly get off while she was vrooming? Is she vrooming with that guy? Is his name Bokoesam? Does she even realize the irony that what she's doing is anything but vroom? Again: maybe I'm too old for this and it's already going incredibly wrong.

Let's continue. Famke has invited all her New Kids Turbo friends for a vrooming mating dance in the back streets of Amsterdam. Fuck, I'm behind, gold rings are back in. Camouflage print on leopard, bandanas, eyebrow piercings, jackets with fur collars; the whole shebang. YES, I'm back in my ordinary pink Donnay tracksuit year in 2006. Nostalgia, lovely. Oh and Fam, if you're hesitating about buying a Bentley, Honda, or ice cream, I would always go for the ice cream, girlfriend. Duh. Check here but just the best salons in the Netherlands, in case you're still in doubt.

Alright, she gets on the back of the motorcycle with that guy. I don't get it. I would be so scared I would complain about that motorcycle. Have you seen his creepy mask? No, I'll just walk to Fashion Week, no problemo.

The shaking no finger is soooo November 2017. No, that has now been replaced by the driving move where you move a Mario Kart air steering wheel left and right with your fists. The real bosses even do it with one hand. I'm still practicing.

Okay. We're going to speed things up a bit because I'm only at 0:38 seconds. Look, here comes the sex into play. I think. Famke in a leather dress lying on the piano. Maybe she's buying some ice. And tough luck for the guys: maybe she's also buying your wife. Shit. Dear Sander, please make sure I don't get bought, okay? I don't know if I can survive on that motorcycle with that creepy mask. Plus: I look twenty kilos heavier in camouflage print. And who wants honey with rice? Yuck.

Do I see someone waving a gun? Is she aiming at Famke? Yes, yes, the underlying Taylor Swift message is clear, you know. You're under fire. Is it now over with those dangerous antics? Oh, it gets worse. The background dancer holds a lighter behind a deodorant bottle so that a little flame appears. HAHAHA. I genuinely wonder when I last saw someone do that. If that's not badass, then I don't know anymore.

HOLY FUCK, is that My Little Pony ON FIRE? WHY? That girl doesn't get attached to things quickly, huh? Poor cuddle. I just drove to the parking lot and found a sad pile of burnt glitter mess. For those interested: tomorrow at 12:00 PM there will be a private farewell for My Little Pony. The poor thing.

Bokoesam starts rapping. His bouquet of roses is also on fire. JESUS, I told that extra to be careful with that deodorant bottle, right? Now you get this. You set up such an expensive production, and everything goes up in flames. Great. Well, let's move on to another scene. Famke goes outside and has suddenly become more famous than Beyoncé in just one month. Yes, life in the spotlight is not all roses. Okay, no more jokes about roses or ponies, sorry. Show some respect, man.

Hey, what a mess, she gets in the car with her hood over her head and the screen goes black. Another open ending. Fam, where are you going, man? To Fashion Week? You should have called me before that clip was hastily recorded. I could have told you that Fashion Week - since Danie Bles is ruled by the scepter - takes place just like the international prêt-à-porter weeks in February and September. Embarrassing this. You come with all that fuss, you're way too early. Just text me, okay? Before you head that way, we can also do something about that outfit.

P.S.: And just leave Sannie alone for once. I'm serious.

P.P.S.: On my Insta Stories @kikiduren we can still enjoy it a bit. Have a nice weekend in advance, huh! Vrooooom, vroom, vroom, vroom – oh no, not AGAIN the whole week in my head.