FIRST AID IF YOU'RE ASKED TO BE THE BEST MAN
Did the bottle pop for you this weekend? Proposed to? Or maybe asked to be the best man? Then brace yourself. Because being asked to be the best man on your bestie's big day is quite a thing. They trust that you are the perfect person to direct their fairy tale. A huge responsibility, but also very time-consuming. That's why it's important to know exactly what is expected of you and what the precise wishes of the couple are. Because if you have all that under control, the rest will follow naturally. Well, almost.
To create a good overview of the path to the wedding, we divide it just like any ‘project’ into the so-called ‘head’ (the startup phase), the middle part (the concrete elaboration), and the tail (D-day).
HEAD
1. Aligning expectations
What does the couple expect from you as the best man? And of course: what do you expect yourself? It's important to think this through and make it discussable so that no friction arises between you and the couple. That can often become an issue, and you don't want to jeopardize your friendship. How much freedom does the couple give you, and to what extent can your creativity play a role in the planning? For example, do you have free rein when it comes to decoration and attire, the reception book, or the corsages? If this is the case, discuss how much budget there is for certain things.
2. What are the wishes?
The wedding is all about the couple, duh. So it's very important that you are on the same page. Pour another good bubble and grab some pen and paper. Always start by inventorying the couple's wishes. Ask and note!
– What do they want?
– What do they absolutely not want?
– Will it be a big affair or rather intimate?
– Is there a particular style they want to maintain?
– Or perhaps a theme?
– Does the day consist of different moments at perhaps different locations?
Never forget that it is their day, even if they ask you to think along. The more inspiration, the better: absolutely, but the choice is and remains theirs. Take notes during your brainstorming sessions so that there is always something to fall back on.
3. Sketching the big picture
Once you have a reasonable idea of what the wedding will look like, some things can be worked out. Put everything on paper and discuss each point with the couple. Create a to-do list that shows which tasks need to be worked out when. This list forms the basis for the organization and ensures peace of mind. Especially for the bride.
MIDDLE
1. Script
The bible of D-day, the script. Absolutely indispensable, as this forms the basis of the wedding. No script means that the chance is high that everything will go wrong and that no party knows what is expected of them. Therefore, start early with putting together the script, but always ensure that there is room and flexibility for adjustments.
2. Shadow script
Almost as important as the script is the shadow script. Almost identical, only the shadow script contains things that must remain secret from the couple.
To plan and document these surprises well, it is useful to create a shadow script. This secret addition ensures that you, as the best man, forget nothing and do not run into time constraints.
3. Communication with the guests
An important point of attention for you is communication with the guests. You are not only the point of contact for the wedding guests, but you also give them instructions if necessary. Think of speeches, sketches, and a joint gift. Make sure your guests know who you are and how they can best reach you in a timely manner. Are there changes? Communicate those in time.
4. Bachelor party
One of the most fun things leading up to the wedding is the bachelor party. The chances are high that this will also be your task. If that's the case: stay tuned. More soon about the best bachelor parties.
TAIL
1. THE DAY
Well, then it's up to you to ensure that everything runs smoothly today... With a (shadow) script in one hand. And champagne in the other, of course.
