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For when you also suffer from those chafing thighs + sweat mustache
Hey sun worshippers. I know we are all happy and peppy with this divine weather, but in the meantime, I'm sitting here with a sweat mustache typing at half past six. Don't get me wrong, I lufff the sun, but when the mercury rises to 26 degrees plus in the heart of Holland, there are also a few discomforts that suddenly come sweating around the corner. Can I just typical Dutch complain about the handicaps we experience with this weather?
- Starting with the transition phase, downright the worst. Suddenly that heatwave is here, while your legs wake up from their Fred Flintstone cave and they certainly don't have the shape you promised them for this summer. Just like last summer. And the one before that.
- Extreme heat does something to your makeup. You wake up with a weird sticky face, that foundation doesn't stick for anything anymore, and the moment you look in the mirror, that mascara is uh, on the back of your neck.
- The biggest hell on earth: chafing thighs. And no, maybe you are blessed with Doutzen Kroes' legs and have no idea what I'm talking about, but for all the companions who KNOW exactly what this is about: just read this.
- Your own wonder of the world: the Niagara Falls under your breast. And what about the boobsweat in between?
- A little heat and the terror hairstyle is born. In other words: pubic hair on your head. Read here What you do against frizzy hair in extreme heat, by the way.
- The sweat mustache. Once it takes hold of you, you're in big trouble, and you better run. Oh no, actually don't, then it gets even worse. Complicated.
- Getting to places where the air conditioning doesn't work, or works too well. I don't know which I find worse.
- Having cheap flip-flops and then almost breaking your neck while breakdancing on a hill because you slide halfway out.
- And on that same hill, being overtaken by vital 65-plus year olds who do have good fitness while you move like a naked snail in the sweltering heat. Yep, that's summer too.
- That you suddenly find yourself in a water balloon fight with your neighborhood kids without asking, making you spontaneously want to buy a water gun super soaker XXXL to spray them all to bits. Deep down, I'm a psychopath.
- Being on your period in warm weather? Let's not even go there.
- And lastly, and perhaps the absolute worst: the moment you realize you should have worn a cotton thong because your raspberry is having a panic attack in that miserable, impractical fabric. Yep, that sucks.
No, but really, I love the Dutch summer. It's the most beautiful uh, week of the year...
