FOUR MEANINGLESS THINGS
That make me feel very uncomfortable
If you want to know about the world that is on fire, about the status of Mr. Trump's refugee decree, then please do not read further. I am going to give a presentation on the most meaningless, trivial matters imaginable. Distraction is also a task, I would say. And I am sure you have it too. Shall we? The four meaningless things that make me feel extremely and utterly uncomfortable. Mr. Trump, read then especially not further. I am going to give a presentation on the most meaningless, trivial matters imaginable. Distraction is also a task, I would say. And I am sure you have it too. Shall we? The four meaningless things that make me feel extremely and utterly uncomfortable.
1. Finding an occupied toilet
Especially at the office. You walk to the office and find it occupied. Waiting is not an option. Because what if it takes a long time, then you know what has happened there. And the other person knows that you know. That vicarious embarrassment is much, much worse than making the trip back to my desk and trying again later.
2. A full nose
If a friend has a runny nose, then of course it’s no problem to point it out. But what if you are in a business meeting and the other person has a drip of snot that keeps peeking around the corner, what do you do then? What do you do then? Whoever knows the answer, I’ll treat to a cocktail.
3. Lipstick on teeth
Another one. There was a lovely girl in the office the other day who had a job interview. Luckily not with me. I was already uncomfortable just looking at her. She had specially pulled her party dress out of the closet (I had a little error too, unless she was angling for the role of game show host in the eighties or escort, she hadn’t exactly put on a fitting outfit) and had happily applied her lipstick. In her enthusiasm, she had also taken her upper row of teeth along for the ride. Since this was not my own applicant, I dared to say it. “Check your mouth in the mirror. I don’t know if that was the intention with that lipstick,” I whispered to her at the coffee machine where she was waiting. When she left the building an hour later and waved at me with a smile, I saw that nothing had changed. The same upper teeth situation. I can tell you: it doesn’t encourage me to say something next time.
4. Going to the toilet at someone else's place
And then finding a little poop spot in the bowl. I understand very well that this can happen. You don’t always look back in life, I would say. But when I do a civilized little pee there and flush, that first landmark naturally remains. And it goes just a bit too far for me to scrub the host's mess away, I’m not that nice either. But the idea that the host will go to the toilet and see what I have seen. And that they then feel very uncomfortable about it. Or even worse: think that it was ME. Oh heaven. From now on, I will NEVER go to the toilet anywhere.
Not very elevated, huh, on a Tuesday afternoon. I’ll play some Bach and read the collected works of Kafka. Just for compensation. Have a nice Tuesday.
