HELP: IF YOUR BEST FRIEND ‘SUDDENLY’ GETS PREGNANT

“Kiek, I have news. I just don’t know if you’ll like it, haha.” With those words, my bestie called me a few months ago. Not good news? What the heck does she mean by that?

Suddenly I knew it. Shit, she’s going to live in Ivory Coast longer. It was initially just going to be an expat deal for her boyfriend for a maximum of a few years, but she’s not going to leave me for good, right? “No, that’s not it,” she reassured me. What then, raced through my mind. Are they breaking up? No way? They’re so cute together! Did she buy exactly the same Gucci bag as I did? Got a tattoo then? What could I possibly ‘not like’?

“I’m pregnant,” I hear a radiant voice say.

A sort of cruise missile explodes in my brain. It takes about three seconds before I can think normally again. My friend has a baby in her belly. Goodness, how special, that we would ever experience that together. A baby, entirely hers and her boyfriend’s. In her belly. A living being of them together. A legitimate reason to shop like crazy. To buy baby Dior stuff. To paint nurseries together, buy baby supplies, pimp the whole thing. To make this child the coolest child EVER.

And in a split second, my thoughts suddenly turn. Whut, she’s pregnant. PREGNANT? What, but HUH?! Being pregnant is something for adult people, right? For women in their thirties who are already married and settling down with their boyfriend and not for twenty-five-year-old chicas like us, right? Who are still enjoying their full freedom, want to travel the world, and selfishly enjoy our own money without wanting to spend it on diapers? “Pregnant? Gosh, uh… I actually didn’t know you wanted a baby already,” I stammer out somewhat overwhelmed. It comes out more sour than intended.

“Haha yes, Kiek. Very much. And I understand that it might catch you off guard a bit. It does for me too, it’s such a strange feeling. But I’m so so happy.” I notice my eyes getting moist. “OF COURSE I’M HAPPY FOR YOU TOO, CRAZY! WOW, A BABY!” I shout, still not a hundred percent sure if this means good or bad news. After I hang up, I could slap myself in the face. Jesus, Kiek, is this really how to react enthusiastically to such happy news from your friend? Are you really such a jerk?

‘What does this news mean for our friendship?’

In the weeks that follow, I notice that my brain is still sending mixed signals when it comes to the baby news. YES, I am genuinely very happy for my dearest friend. And YES, I already know for sure that she is going to be a fantastic mother. He a ridiculously fun father. But somehow I always feel quite awkward when I’m around children. What does this news mean for our friendship? I don’t have any friends with children yet, so I wouldn’t know. Will that change? Will I never see her again? Will the baby go everywhere with her? Will she babble in some alien mother tongue that I don’t understand a thing of?

Maybe a totally human reaction, but sometimes I just don’t understand my brain. I actually find the idea of a baby really nice. I would be the coolest aunt Kiek that exists man, for sure. But why am I acting so weird? Is it jealousy? Is it the fear of The Great Unknown? Is it the fear that I’ll be next? The idea that she has all her shit together and I don’t? It’s a complicated cocktail of questions in my head.

Just know dear R, I love you and therefore also love the little pea that is growing inside you (your child is my child, you know?). And the next time I start to act grumpy again, just drag me to the Baby Dior section, deal? Works every time, baby. Ooh, did I just make a baby joke?