Kiki’s Expedition Robinson Babble
week 10
Hey delicious Ex Robbesnobbers of mine. It’s time to babble about our favorite show again. About Froger's brilliant rat action, the last breath of termite lobster Fernando, and the fact that it’s all becoming a bit less Ergerditie Soundoson.
We are already in week 10, so it's time to stop the hand-clapping group games, it’s time for the real deal: the plots and backstabbing. The hypocrisy. The unexpected left hook to your upper jaw. experienced Expedition Robinson is about to begin. Even Dánny is going to talk, people, it’s a miracle. Are you ready? Buckle up ‘cause shit is about to get dirtyyy.
1. First things first, we obviously went out with a big bang last week.
Roeland: ‘So Soundos had a bone to pick with Marieke. This was the bone. Peeled.’ Sooooo. Anyone want a core?
2. I think I’ve never had to deal with a termite lobster in my life. NOOOOO FERNANDOOOOO.
3. Even that lobster realizes it’s in Expedition Robinson. Just before it gets lynched, it still manages to poke everyone in the eye. Hahaha, you go, Fernando.
4. I’m secretly curious about what Herold thinks now that he’s sitting at home on the couch. What am I saying? On the couch? That old soldier is dusting off his hand grenades from the attic to throw them through Soundos‘ mailbox. Like a real man.
5. Just a realization: out of sight, out of mind, Nicole Buch's participation dates back to Robinson 2015. How weird is that? Oh and, I miss Brace's yellow condom hat + Lil Kleine's Kanye West quotes. I’m so curious how the game would have gone if those two had still been in it.
6. Meanwhile, things are going quite well in the love hut of Kaj & Niels. Although Kaj (who is starting to get quite a skinny face) is completely bored out of his mind. The conversation of the day?
Kaj: ‘I just cleaned my nails out of boredom with a shell.’
Niels: ‘Hey, I just did that too!!’
Me thinking: so I thought I felt sorry for the termite lobster…
7. I have to ask: am I the only weirdo who gets happy spotting the image that was used in the leader? Kaj as the Christ the Redeemer statue in the rain: delicious shot.
8. Time for the trial. Something with endurance, a human dartboard full of wooden sticks, standing on it and pulling out the sticks one by one to then hang like a confused forest monkey. The trial hasn’t even started and Soundos is already out. ‘Those were really very exciting seconds.’ Laughing out loud.
9. Just a rather sad fact from behind the scenes: I first wrote ‘dartboard’. With a D yes. And ‘stantbeeld’ with a T. Something about not being fully awake, COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO.
10. Roeland has a foot tactic that can only be described as peculiar. And he immediately drops the quote of the week: ‘I feel like an old teddy bear that has been pulled apart by generations of children and nailed to the wall.’
11. Hi Danny, and now with a Martin Morero accent: ‘It’s a little wall of misery you’re hanging on. And then we’ll see who has the longest breath.’
12. Titan Tukker Imke has (god, she’s always so smart) learned all the numbers by heart. Yet she falls. My boy Carlos and you-won’t-believe-it SHELLY remain. Tension, excitement, sweat lip. Say whuuuuuut. That little Indo-tiger is also winning. That’s it: Shelly officially rises in my coolness meter after the eating trial and these monkey business practices. I’m team My Little Pony.
13. That was honestly a bit of a shock, huh? With that crazy smiley on Niels’ butt. Friend. What-the-FAK.
14. Hmm, that you’re actually disappointed in My Little Pony ten minutes later because they’re not going to fight Niels. Sjellebel (and dear other camp members), don’t we realize that this Robinson Crusoe needs to be eliminated before it’s too late?
15. Am I the only one who got itchy from this statement: ‘I find it hard not to get involved because I see them both making mistakes.’ Struip. Drawing. Up. Left. Rolling. With. Eyes.
16. I can see it. A RUMAG T-shirt line with quotes from Expedition Robinson:
‘THE. KNIVES. ARE. SHARPENED.’
‘TAKE. THOSE. LAZY. ONES.’
‘IT. IS. EAT. OR. BE. EATEN.’
No thanks, RUMAG, the invoice is on its way, bitches.
17. If you’re still looking for the Pied Piper of Hamelin: Froger is the name. You know, that guy who has been the freaking extra on the island the whole season so far. Yeah that one. Mr. finally got some balls and I just LOVE it. Rat. Team South is going full counterattack. My boy Carlos is saved and my Robinson tail is wagging on the couch.
18. Seriously, Nicolette, where are your shoes? Was there not a single Teva slipper sponsor to be found? Did the people want to wok with Go-Tan exclusivity and are you now risking getting warts in the jungle? Production, do something about it, man!
19. Well, Anouk. And then the Ajax trio was officially out. A donkey doesn’t bump into the same stone twice, right? Or does it? Small consolation: you had a cool bikini. It must be said.
20. What I’m raffling this week on my Instagram account @kikiduren (follow me, it’s fun) ? An exclusive ‘OMG, you’ve killed Fernando’ frying pan, Niels’ sour smiley shorts, and a completely ordinary night out with Marieke including loads of macarons and a sleepover at the W hotel. I’m telling you: you want this.
P.S.: After a juicy in-bed conversation with Kaj (check it here) I also dove under the sheets with My Boy Carlos. And yes, we went judo in bed, no shit. If you haven’t seen that video yet: here you go.
P.P.S: Just one more thing, okay. HELP. WHATDAFAK is happening next week?! ‘I’m going to break Imke. I’m going to hurt Imke. Imke Goes down.’ Oh my god, the usually so sweet puppy-eyed Roeland is going completely loco next week?! Heart at the bottom of this article if you also can’t wait to see this.
