KIKI’S EXPEDITIE ROBINSON GEBRABBEL
(week 6)
So. That was some serious crying last night. That jerk Lubach just ran off with our ring. I spent the whole night texting my finger blue with that ‘RING RING RING’ to 9090, if only to be Bertie. and that brilliant dress. My farmer bestie, I almost became a lesbian for you. But it didn't help, guys, too bad. Producers, directors, cameramen, trial thinkers, set builders, Nicolette and Dennis, participants: I would have wished it for you. How about a crying party at my place tomorrow night? Cozy, I'll treat. Roeland will take care of the entertainment for the evening.
So much for the sentimental nonsense. We're going to talk about this effing brilliant episode. Yes, this is the moment when the ‘ON'ers are going to stream in. Ha nice, Imke from Enschede, THAT's what we were waiting for, right, Kaj? And to think that this might be my moment to shine. I already scored zero points right away. What? Laterz, I had stuffed all those stroopwafels in the boat with my giggle anyway. Okay, let's first see what Imke is going to (wink) brew. No okay, that thing with the stroopwafels was at least a nice push, because half the camp is ready there. During the trial (something with fishing coconuts out of the water, playing water polo and then smashing it. (HA! Call the newspaper. I understand a game explanation in one go!) Our new chick from Enschede is totally on fire. So I thought for two whole seconds that I could beat Imke the Russian shot putter during the selection weekend?’ HAHAHA. So much for the good jokes. She's seriously going home with a gold medal. And rightly so.
Wait a minute. Am I seriously over 280 words in and the word Soundos hasn't come up yet? Shame. Let's do what it's all about: we're going to babble to the max. And I'm telling you: this episode was delicious.
1. When you collapse on the couch because Soundos’ true nature accidentally comes out.
“…so that you can cook later, eh, I mean we can cook together.”
2. By the way, who still remembers this good old song by Ricky Martin?
“Un, dos, tres. Un pasito pa’lante María…”
Ha, nice. Here it comes with everyone on the beat, hands to the left, right, come on:
Soun, dos, gone,
Un pasito pa’lante María
SOUN, DOS, GONE,
Un pasito pa’ atrás
3. Yes. You want it. It's time for the best Kaj quote of the evening:
With a clear number 1: “I don't know what Imke has, but she makes that whole island fertile.” HAHAHA. Kaj, buddy, when are you and I going to watch an episode together? I think we can totally babble together. Let's devour that whole TV.
4. The moment you find the Bertie & Bertus spot to snag the Televizier Ring so effing brilliant that you don't care at all that you have to watch Dreft commercials for the next 22 minutes.
5. You can use that time nicely to spot gems like this on Twitter by the way: ‘There are people who think Soundos is cool. I also found the shape of my poop this morning funny. Still flushed it.’
6. What a father/daughter whine. I would spontaneously want to crawl into my TV to give Richard the complete idiot a SLAP in his face so that that Ajax fan toughens up. Deliberately losing to keep your daughter in the game. Tssss. We have nothing to do with that, right, Mariek?
7. Kim Jong-Soun, the brat from Troy is causing trouble again. Hey little dragon, can you leave my friend Carlos alone for a moment? With every statement, I get more scared of you. ‘If I'm unstable, oooh, then it really won't be fun.“ Uh Sounnie, what are you then? Help.
8. Hey psst, island dwellers. Just a tip from outside: you didn't hear it from me, but if I were stuck on an island with her, I would just throw her a Snickers really quickly from three meters away.
9. Sometimes I really think I missed my calling at an advertising agency. Damn Snickers, if I see Soundos in your ads in a few months with the line: ‘you’re not yourself when you’re hungry’, the bill is coming your way, okay? You understand that.
10. Meanwhile during the trial: our Imke smashes that coconut completely. Stupid coconut, look at it go! Did that Rambo take the mourning doping?
11. It's great that saber-toothed tiger Roeland is solving the big teeth brushing mystery and all, but there are still questions. Where do they keep getting those medieval torture devices for trials? Is Dennis dropped by helicopter for the game explanation on that little platform? Why do I get itchy from every word that Niels utters? WHAT happened to Nicolette's face?
12. Hey, Froger got to say something during this episode too! #WhatWasItAgain….
13. GODNONDEKNETTER, the question we've been sitting on for at least HALF AN HOUR. I seriously got a gray hair from it, man. WHO falls into that water first?! Carolina or Carlos? Car 1 or Car 2? The revelation: Car 2. Never been so happy.
14. By the way, you know you're really in a very wacko game show when the compliment of the day is ‘I can't smell you’.
15. Well, ex Rob viewers... They're just like people:
– Whether Carolina comes back to Camp North or South? – we don't care at all.
– Richard's facial expression when he sees next week that his little darling is no longer there? – we would even PAY MONEY for that if necessary.
16. ROAR FROM THE COUCH: YEAAASSSS, Imke is reunited with Mi Boy Carlos. Ex Rob babies in the making. My life has meaning again. Did you see what kind of shining trumpet Mr. Judoka was sitting on that bench with, man. Hands up if you also want to have a biscuit with this Oldenzaal puppy. YESYESYES, I see all armpits, you bunch of horny devils.
17. Feel like winning today? Nice. What we're giving away this week on my Instagram account @kikiduren? The signed hit single ‘Krab en Vis’ by Roeland, Joëlle and Richi's moldy umbilical cord, and a Magic Mike strip act from Mi Boy Carlos.
Believe me: you don’t wanna miss this. Never been so excited for next week. Lataaah.
