Fun & Famous

KIKI’S WHO IS THE MOLE?-TALK

Hey moles, a very good afternoon to you all. How nice that you have all gathered again in large numbers for an extensive talk about our favorite sewing-each-other-where-you-stand program. You were all ready for it on Saturday night, I pulled my mole notebook out of the closet again, there was popcorn, there was hysteria, there was a WHATDAFAK is happening here?-episode.

In the coming weeks, I will spam you every Monday afternoon with all the suspicious actions from the latest episode, suspicions, and more Inspector Gadget nonsense. If you missed the WIDM opening, no worries, just read this and you’ll be all caught up. My mailbox kiki@amayzine.com is still officially open for all your bizarre theories and brain farts. People are already eagerly using it, but it can be even more, folks. Come on. We are talking about The Mole that we need to unmask, all hands on deck is quite necessary.

Anyway, time to see what went wrong this week. Because there was a lot. Three candidates suddenly disappeared very mysteriously in the paper factory and GOD I am so glad I wasn't at that abandoned horror fair. I would have just let everything run down my legs. That would have been spectacular television.

Above-ground findings:

– First of all: after this episode, I have intense sympathy for Imanuelle (“I dead? YOU DEAD! RAPAPAPAM B*TCH”). Not quite the same as my Ex Rob farmer Bertie-crush (you remain number 1, Bert, don’t worry, I’ll call you tomorrow), but this is dangerous. On one hand, you would think: someone who is so enthusiastically bouncing through that laser task can hardly be The Mole, right? But dear people, this woman is an actress, huh. Plant that seed somewhere heulll deep in those brains.
– Oh and by the way, Imanuelle, (Sigrid, are you reading along?): Blocker called. They want their trash cans back. You can contact customer service.

– Suppose you were Sigrid's boyfriend. Then you would try out all possible 98532 date spots with her, as long as you don’t have to go to the fair with her? That chick behaves during a round in the carousel as if she’s on shrooms. Brrrr.
– Jochem, you are a boss on Twitter. “For all transport and forklift companies that have inquired about my availability today; I am currently employed.” Also check out these 8 funny tweets about WIDM.
– Is there still a little room for a tiny bit of submitted grumbling? I thought so, right? Beau (Hi Beau!) emailed me and also wants to say something. “WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO CHRIS ZEGERS? Chris who tries to evaluate the episode as a presenter at MolTalk with that exaggerated nonsense and ADHD bouncing. It’s maddening! Do something less enthusiastic. And who on earth is his stylist?” Hereby, Chris, do something about it. Beau and I think it’s crap.

Underground clues:

– Has anyone else noticed that Imanuelle does NOT raise her hand when voting in the courtroom? She goes along with the others. And was the episode called ‘compliant?’ Hmmm.

– Reader Nori emailed me the following: “In the press photos, Diederik is wearing a shirt that says ‘For a good time, call 6.02 * 10^23’. And that number just happens to be exactly one mole in chemistry…” Nori, I’ll just be honest and say that I was always hysterically bad at math, but this sounds suspicious. We will investigate it to the bottom. Or should I say IN the bottom? I’ll dig a little deeper.

– Jochem, why was your mole notebook so suspiciously empty? Maybe because The Mole doesn’t have to write that much? Just saying. Think about it; Jochem could be a perfect sympathy trigger in the group. In episode 2 just rake in the money, but meanwhile handle that same money yourself and then suddenly make that pot disappear. People, where is that treasurer?

– Dear Roos. Is there a reason you ACTED as if you were lying while speaking the truth? Wow, that’s a mind-bending sentence, huh? Doesn’t that money in the pot mean that much to you? A big mole action. But Yvonne was all over Roos, right? And she’s now gone. So technically, Roos should fall out. #DifficultDifficult.

-Then about the spooky fair task. Sanne has a huge dislike for rides, but still goes on the Screaming Eagle. Thanks San, for that lovely primal roar by the way. But, am I reading now on the one and only real Twitter account of The Mole: ‘prepare to adapt to others’? Are you just very ‘compliant’, Sanne?

– Okay I just read something. It’s not normal. Did the makers make a mistake and has the identity of The Mole already been revealed? In episode 1 we had the cinema scene, where Art spoke with Vincent, Jeroen, Thomas, and Roos? In this year’s mole notebook, you see a photo of Art opposite someone with glasses and that back of the head looks strikingly like Diederik’s. LOOK HERE. But this meeting never took place on TV! Was there a secret meeting with Diederik before or after the meeting with the other candidates? Is this a mistake by the makers? Man man…

Current standings?

1. Sanne Wallis de Vries (yeah, I don’t fully trust her…)

2. Jeroen Kijk in de Vegte (weird that I don’t really suspect him? As the ONLY one?)

3. Imanuelle Grives (superfanatic, and therefore also a bit more suspicious)

4. Thomas Cammaert (meh, I don’t think he’s The Mole)

5. Sigrid ten Napel (fairly suspicious, just a bit too vague)
6. Jochem van Gelder (hmm, could at least be a perfect Mole)

7. Roos Schlikker (meh, no, wants to mole too badly, plus Yvon was on her and is now gone)

9. Yvonne Coldeweijer (okay, honestly sad that she’s gone. But it was obvious that she wasn’t a mole.)

10. Diederik Jekel (Didi, you little überliar with your f*cking beavers. You lied too well. So yes, still: suspicious. And not just a little.)