Beauty

Lil kicks off her fake eyelashes

And this is what she thought in the last 48 hours

Eyes

This weekend I woke up for the umpteenth time with my eyelashes in a tangle. I was already plucking at them while yawning. I know it gets worse with plucking, but I continued, as usual, resulting in a cheese hole eye that you wouldn't believe. I checked my agenda, and I saw that I only have an appointment with my eyelash queen next Friday. Next. week. Friday. As in: in 11 days. Two weeks, my god. I was just there last week and now I'm already walking around like a bald mole. Story of my life.

I sigh. With a birthday tonight and Monday a significant work date on the schedule, it's the usual eyelash crisis. I text my eyelash queen, but I actually don't even dare to ask, because she's always fully booked and somehow I'm alone in my cheese hole eye syndrome. And yes, she still has a slot in the afternoon when I'm of course working again. Next week, it's the eyeliner that will have to improve my life. Why? I feel ‘incomplete’ without eyelashes, not myself and far from my best. And that stupid insecurity needs to stop now.

Dear friends, it has been coming for a while, but I'm done. After five years (yes, seriously five years) I'm buying remover and saying goodbye to my fake eyelashes. Sounds very dramatic and it is. What I thought in the last 48 hours? Well, this.

‘F*, I really look like a bald mole rat. My mascara brush is even wider than my eyelash spike hair.’

  • It's like I'm breaking up with my love, how do I tell my savior in need that I suddenly don't need her anymore?
  • I think I'm friends with my eyelash queen; unsolicited, I told her my life story in her treatment chair.
  • Maybe I'll miss her... I think I will. Maybe I should keep that appointment for next Friday? I mean: it was so much more than just getting beautiful eyelashes... Therapy, that's what it is. And you can't just stop that.
  • Seriously, therapy? Get real. These are excuses. And I'm really done with that now.
  • Where do I buy eyelash extension remover?
  • F* it, I'll just fumble them off myself. Finally, I can pluck without consequences.
  • Holy s*, I just pulled out my last own eyelash spikes. Now I'm officially bald. Can't be helped.
  • So it doesn't matter anymore. Teeth clenched and the last eyelashes are gone in no time.
  • I look like a bald mole rat. And yes, they really exist.
  • Let's see how it looks with a dot of mascara .
  • F*, I really look like a bald mole rat. My mascara brush is even wider than my eyelash spike hair.
  • I'm calling my eyelash queen now, hoping that my appointment hasn't been snatched up yet.
  • No, I'm not calling. I'm not calling.
  • Eyelash serum is what I need. My eyelashes will look like real long ones in no time, but then fake. Uuuuh.
  • Okay, eyelash serum is quite expensive. But I'm ordering it, right away.
  • 3-5 working days? This can't be true. I don't have that time, my eyelashes need to be fluttering nicely again by Monday.
  • I'm driving to the store now. Revitalash, I'm on my way. I want you in my pocket.
  • If I apply it in the morning AND evening? It will probably work faster than once a day according to the instructions. I'm really doing this.
  • Okay, life goes on. Editie NL is calling. If I'm open to an interview tomorrow. This can't be true. I HAVE NO EYELASHES. I look like a bald... Oh, never mind. First world problems #not. I say yes to the interview. What a drama queen I am.
  • I hang up. And from that moment on, it goes wrong. How do I get my eyelashes back in 24 hours?
  • Seriously, no one is taking new clients or has time for an emergency. This is no joke, I've called about 20 different salons. Eyelash salons are closed on King's Day. Ridiculous.
  • Mascara accentuates my spikes, so there's only one thing to do: I'm going to the store now and buying extensions, it can't be helped, guys.
  • Is this a joke? Is the girl I told my eyelash withdrawal story to quite cool yesterday and who managed to sell me the best eyelash serum on earth coming my way? My way, as in: she's coming to help me choose suitable FAKE eyelashes. For real?
  • I think I've never talked to myself this much.
  • And there she was. My new savior in need. An appointment tomorrow afternoon at two o'clock. A fresh package of eyelashes is within reach. I'm doing a happy dance. And the guys from Editie NL haven't even left yet. Yes, I had stick-on eyelashes on. They were already starting to come off the eye, but hey... I don't care, they looked great on camera.
  • I take off my stick-on eyelashes. Rub my eyes and apply my way too expensive eyelash serum. Just for the idea.
  • Oh guys, rubbing my eyes is actually so intensely nice. I rub again.
  • I'm canceling my new eyelash appointment now. I'm sick, have a migraine and I'll call back quickly for a new appointment, I promise.

And that calling back I won't do, never, because Lil is withdrawing from her eyelash extensions.

Maybe with some ups and downs, but I don't care. I'm a bald mole rat, rubbing my eyes and before I know it, I have eyelashes that Barbie would be jealous of. Do you recognize yourself in the hell of the eyelash crisis? Stop with me. If I can do it, you can too. And I promise you: the withdrawal step plan is on its way, because eyelash extensions are soooo 2016. Quite out of fashion if you ask me.