Happy & Healthy
LONG LIVE YOUR LOVEHANDLES
These months they're back again, you know, the love handles. No idea from which distant lands they're traveling to my side, but the fact remains that they know exactly how to find my hips around the cold winter months and apparently find it a good place to crash for a while. So, nice blanket, little fire on, and 3,2,1 stick it on that hip.
In December, ‘the muffin top’ is always in its prime. Like a greedy tapeworm, it enjoys all the Christmas dinners, oliebollen, champagne, and stuffed eggs. NOMNOMNOM. Oh no, I wasn't supposed to say that. Anyway, in the last month of the year, the grand feast buffet is open All Days. Peppernuts here, pizza there... No really, those love handles have nothing to complain about.
I have something to complain about. I now have a underwear drawer that consists of summer thongs and winter thongs. IF ONLY THAT WERE A JOKE. No idea why exactly, but the winter thongs are also three times uglier. If your boyfriend nods vigorously when you ask if it's time to buy new underwear, then you know something is wrong. I recently just did that to prevent a major relationship crisis . And I can tell you: just buy that thong one size larger and those love handles will disappear like snow in the sun.
“LONG LIVE THE LOVEHANDLE!”
Look, love handles. I have hated you. Cursed. Considered sucking or freezing some of you away (apparently something new). I genuinely wonder why you miserable, soft, fat-storing things aren't called hatehandles. But maybe, if you've seen my hips as the coziest place to hibernate for ten years in a row, I should just see that as a compliment. I mean: I would feel very flattered as a hotel owner if my guests came to my resort for ten years in a row.
Maybe humanity is just a bit too hard on the fluffy love handle. I mean: just Google it and the only thing you find is how to get rid of them. Preferably as quickly as possible. I find it almost sad. It's time to embrace you. Those love handles are -and not just in winter- also part of me. Isn't it just time for acceptance? Enough reasons, I say.
1. Accepting yourself is something with the best feeling ever.
2. People with a small layer of fat around their midsection have a lower chance of bone fractures than slim people. Just saying.
3. Beyoncé has them too. So there.
4. Men secretly find it quite sexy in the bedroom.
So, stop the bitching about those loyal hotel guests and just enjoy that extra winter layer. LONG LIVE THE LOVEHANDLE!
