Oops: so many good friends a crush costs you
That infatuation including a pink cloud and hearts in your eyes is oh so cute. Except for your circle of friends. Because thataddiction to your brand new love is not the best news for your social life.
Bye, we had fun
An infatuation quickly costs you two close friends. People have an average of five intimate friendships. But an average single man or woman has at least six close buddies. If you get a nice and loving relationship with your dream man, it will cost you two friendships, but your partner will give you one new intimate friendship in return. In short, you end up with a handful.
By intimate relationships, scientist Robin Dunbar from the University of Oxford means ‘people you talk to daily and with whom you share your worries and woes’. But yes, a lover and a corresponding cozy sex life takes a lot of time and energy, because you naturally don't want to see your flame just once a week. And so your time is inexplicably divided – and that means you start cutting back on the dear list of girlfriends. Because a lack of time – not necessarily a lack of desire – is the main reason friendships fall apart. You simply can't hang out in the pub or have drinks on the terrace seven nights a week with this and that, and yes, that takes its toll. You become more selective about who you still want to see regularly, and thus your besties remain. And some almost-besties fall by the wayside.
Do you now barely dare to open Happn because you know you'll lose your current friends? No worries: your true friends will stick by you through thick and thin. No man can compete with that. Even if you go through phases with ups and downs, they will remain. Trust us.
And there's more good news for all your patient girls: after about a year or two, everyone's relationship inevitably starts to falter, and so you automatically have more time for your buddies again. And there is room for arguments, yes. The infatuation usually fades into a proper ‘loving’. Which can be just as nice, by the way. But... People then see after the throwing-up-from-nerves-when-you-have-a-date-with-him phase that their partner is not the divine Adonis they thought he was, and thus the agenda becomes a bit more fairly divided. A night with the boy, a night with the girls; it can happen.
So, social girls, go ahead and fall in love. It'll be alright. Really.
FACTS
– At least 1 in 3 single women falls in love with a married man at some point in her life.
– Physically, you cannot be in love with two people at the same time. An important characteristic of infatuation is that you constantly think about that one person and that you see them ‘everywhere’. You can love one and have romantic feelings for another.
– Sorry for every romantic who thinks that butterfly garden in your stomach lasts forever: intense infatuation lasts a maximum of one year.
Source: People & Health
Written by: Tessa Heinhuis
