These are the best work lessons

In your life, you cannot do without an example. Someone teaches you how to hop, how to tie your shoelaces, how to ride a bike without training wheels... As you grow older, that need remains, while the supply decreases. Life lessons, career lessons, you seem to dare to ask for them less, and perhaps people think you no longer need them. But to keep your mind sharp and fresh, there is only one thing that really works: listening to people who inspire you.

My first lessons came from my parents. Not particularly original, as research from LinkedIn shows that for a quarter of the Dutch, their father was the biggest source of inspiration and for 17.8 percent, their mother. My mother taught me the importance of studying. In her family, studying was not a given. You would at most get your Mulo diploma and then make sure to find a man as quickly as possible. “Knowledge, my dear, no one can take that away from you.” The wise words of my mother, born in the first winter after World War II. All nice and well those men, but you shouldn't become dependent on them. Voilà, life lesson number 1 was in the bag.

From my father, I learned how to manifest myself in the job market. “Always be at the office a quarter of an hour earlier than your boss.” And even if you were called in the middle of the night; you were ready, you were powerful, but humble. “I’d like to offer my services to you,” I heard my father say to his employer who asked him to come work for him long before. But he was also clear. Iconic (yes, sorry for the big word, but I really think so) was his line to a runaway helmsman: “If you wipe your ass with my rules, I wipe my ass with my contract.” Not very subtle, but if you are a captain on the high seas, clarity comes before fluffiness.

Funny enough, I learned another important work lesson from Eva Jinek. And according to this LinkedIn research, Eva is in the top 4 of ideal coaches. Eva's wisdom? Do you want to be remembered as someone who was good at her job or as someone who was fun to work with? Preferably both, because we women often want to have a good time, but regardless of what position you have; you can never keep everyone on your side.

Another privilege I got to experience were wise words from Matthijs van Nieuwkerk. I had just been appointed editor-in-chief of Marie Claire and had to immediately sweep through the team. “You don’t become editor-in-chief with clean hands,” Matthijs said during a friendly lunch. “You will always do someone a disservice, but you must do what you believe in.”

In my work, I have met many golden people whom I could draw from. Yet Harriet Calo stands at the top of the ladder. She was once almost thrown out by a very unpleasant manager (another lesson: no matter how good, great, and grand you are, there can always be some sad sack in a too high position who wants to give you the boot) and she kept her back straight. “Fine if you want to take this position away from me, but: the only way is up. So I’m leaving unless promoted.” And so it happened.

She pushed her fingers between my vertebrae when I was literally walking a bit hunched from stress. “But we are not going to let that happen. Come on now, say.” She taught me that in my position I should only travel first class (“are you being treated like a servant, you are the editor-in-chief”), it was a must in my world to invest in a few designer bags, and if someone was particularly rude or brutal, she would pour me a cup of tea and say: “He is telling you who he is, be grateful to him.”

Let me conclude with a beautiful example of a school in The Bronx in New York. This school has only students from underprivileged backgrounds, but those students have been selected for healthy ambition and intelligence. These children wear a brooch on their uniform every day with their dream university (Princeton, Harvard, you name it) and the year they will graduate there. By physically pinning that on their chest every day, the chance that they will actually do it is much greater than if they stayed at a ‘regular’ school in their neighborhood. Here it is, the importance of a good example.

The moral of the story: find yourself a mentor. Get in touch with that person. You can use LinkedIn perfectly for this, as there is a good chance that person can also be found there. Or search the LinkedIn network for a fresh coach. Look for the person you look up to and send him or her a message. There is a good chance that person will be thrilled to help you on your way. Have coffee, ask him or her everything, and the tie off the shirt. They will love to help a driven person like you further. Networking sounds like an activity you don’t have time for, but think about what it will bring you. LinkedIn is also focused on networking this summer and encourages Dutch professionals to reach out to a mentor, coach, or someone who inspires them. Follow the conversation online via #NetwerkZomer.
Also make sure your own LinkedIn page is in order. This way, potential coaches get a good picture of you, and who knows, you might be the example others were looking for.

Finally, I share the most important lessons that people have received (all from that wonderful LinkedIn research):

• Do what you love (think of the Dalai Lama; find a job you love and you won’t have to work a day in your life).
• Stay true to yourself.
• Always keep learning.
• Follow your heart.
• Make a career switch.

Maybe you want to know my lessons. There are many. Dare to dream. And dream big. Ten steps higher than you would actually dare. Why wouldn’t it work for you? Stay humble. Work hard. Know what you are good at, but especially know what you are not good at. Believe that everything will come together if you stay true to yourself. Even a side path can lead to your main path. Find examples. You now know where.