HOW TO FIGHT LESS

With a short night behind me, I sit down for breakfast. Some avocado and a boiled egg, prepared by him. I'm still a bit groggy, he's scrolling through his emails and boom: the trouble starts. As in bickering over coffee and at a slightly too loud volume. It started as a tiny morning mood on his part and a lack of sleep on mine, and suddenly there's an argument. Or rather, a discussion. But how, why? No idea, and you might as well ask me how to prevent it. Well, I've dug that up for you from the archives. Don't worry, this scene at the breakfast table is rare for us. But do you often have things boiling over at your place? Then this might help to calm the waters. Okay, okay, enough of all that talking. These are tips if you find yourselves fighting too often (ha).

First of all, arguments are part of your relationship, especially when you start getting a bit serious together. You think the dishes should go straight into the dishwasher, he lets the mayo residue stick. Or Mr. spends half his salary filling the fridge, but you're doing just fine on a budget (because hello, you're saving for that bag). The trick: don't throw accusations at each other but try to put yourself in the other's shoes. Bring in the red flag and wave the white one. If you don't get caught up in being angry, you'll think much more logically. Right? Seriously, after a heated argument, you often don't even remember how it started and you cool things down with steamy sex.

‘Bickering over coffee and at a slightly too loud volume’

Count to ten, as old as Lutjebroek, but it works. Don't immediately dump your frustrations on his (breakfast) plate, just take a breath in and then out. Do you still feel rage after ten seconds? Well, maybe he did provoke it. But mornings are also not suitable for heavy conversations. At least, not for us. My advice: choose your moment carefully.

Repeat after me: yes, he has things that I just find a bit meh. Really, it's normal not to praise all his tricks and quirks. He's human, you're human, and that's how it is. All that perfection, jeez, is really no fun at all. And before you lose your cool, in those ten zen seconds above, you should try to find the mode that it just doesn't matter. It's totally okay that after eight years he leaves all the clothespins hanging on the line when he's in a hurry but takes his clean shirt with him. Yes, that's it.

Bring out the market vendor in yourself. You can really negotiate. I'm not talking about the exhausting haggling, okay? Just so you know, because you can go too far. See what works for you. And if your brain is a bit foggy, ask for a rain check. Sometimes it's better to let all that heartache cool down a bit and reassess before you unleash the verbal cannon.