WHY IT'S OKAY NOT TO ALWAYS BE THE COOL GIRL
‘I recently read ’The Myth of the Cool Girl Code' on my internet holy grail Man Repeller. The cool girl. If you had to attach a label to me, I hope it would be this. The girl with a tough edge, a bit of a tomboy, which I was talking about last Friday. The perfect example of this, if I purely base it on appearance, is Erin Wasson. The ultimate jeans and T-shirt girl with a tattoo here and there peeking out from under her clothes and that nonchalant hairstyle (the sex hair) that I think she doesn't have to do anything for. In terms of appearance, I want this. Not that I'm rushing to the tattoo shop for some permanent pictures, but more that ‘cool’ aura that she always carries with her, I want it. And just for shits and giggles, I just googled what the definition of a cool person was and found as a result a list of traits that ended with: ‘basically Samuel L. Jackson.’ I find that humorous.
A few weeks ago, I had a tête-à-tête with May, just chatting about everything and anything and of course also about me and Amayzine. And how nice and great it is that we editors have really become a close-knit group (thanks to this) and how different we all actually are. That makes it all more fun. What separates me from the rest? I am the ‘cool’ girl of Amayzine (maybe I can now start a squad with Erin and Samuel), Simoon of course the sporty spice, Lilian the fashion-savvy one, Kiek the travel addict with intense humor and the one who better not have a hangover, and chief May? The epitome of class and style. A mix of everything together – I can't think of a better combination, if I say so myself.
And then I read the article about why it's actually okay not to always be the cool girl. Why you don't always have to pretend to be chill about every situation. Because that also falls under the heading ‘cool’. You always have your emotions under control, you always keep everything casual and you respond calmly instead of in a way that feels the most honest. Just because you don't feel like making a big deal out of whatever situation you find yourself in. Recognizable? At least for me. Something I could also maintain for a long time until I realized that it's okay to take a little detour from your so-called image.
A little over a year ago, I lost my father. After this loss, I quickly ended up in a kind of survival mode. My tactic was to keep doing as much as possible, to fully plan my days, so that everything was just ‘fine’ with me and I didn't give myself a chance to be emotional, especially not when others were around. I wanted to stay calm and collected, which everyone was used to from me. Believe me, you can't keep that up for long. Suddenly you break, which in my case happened at the most awkward moment ever. I was deeply ashamed (completely nonsense of course to feel that way) and was so disappointed that I hadn't managed to stay calm and relaxed. Cool girl Elke was an emotional wreck. And you know what? It was okay.
It's okay to show once that you're absolutely not doing well. Why always pretend to be confident and not show that you're not feeling great? Time for a good cry? Girl, let it out. That's cool if you dare to do that. Mascara down to your chin, everything. And by the way, you get more beautiful from it too. So, tissues, anyone?
