WINE WITH YOUR HUSBAND
“He doesn't drink anymore!” Friend E. tells me as if her beloved has decided to work in a kibbutz to massage little pigs there. A man who doesn't drink may be the most normal thing in the world for some, but for us, it's the end. Well, almost. In any case, a lot less fun.
“He doesn't mind if I drink wine or anything, but still. Every time I walk to the fridge, I feel like a terrible alcoholic.” She continues. “Or he thinks I have a keg. A keg. But should I stop too?” Fortunately, she hasn't done that, but let's just say she made up for it on a joint trip with me.
Another acquaintance told me with a straight face that she drinks almost to the point of addiction to keep up with her husband (a celebrated rock star with a matching lifestyle). “He starts on a gin and tonic at eleven in the morning. What should you do as a woman? Drinking along is the only option.’
Science is on their side, as research shows that couples with the same drinking pattern have the greatest chance of a long and happy life. Here are some more reasons from me to raise a glass together. Or not. But that would be so uncozy on a Saturday.
1. You both fall asleep at the same time. On the couch, during that exciting movie. You don't have to apologize because he's as far along as you are, and no, it doesn't matter if you sleep with your mouth open.
2. You both have a hangover. Nothing more annoying than being grumpy and having such a cheerful energetic type in front of you who has already done three laps in the park and is now downing some raw eggs for his protein intake.
3. By the way, did you know that there's little that beats morning sex with a small, very small hangover?
4. That keg. It simply doesn't exist if you both drink.
5. You are treated with respect at the liquor store.
6. You can romantically walk to the glass bin once a week.
7. No one thinks it's weird if you already feel like having a drink when it's not even five o'clock yet.
I would say, dear friends, just have one. It's about time. Cheers to that.
