5 tips to make a long distance disappear

When my friend told me he was moving to Los Angeles indefinitely for work, all my courage sank completely into my Gucci loafers. Holy hell. My job at that time was very busy, I already missed him often during his monthly trips he made and moving completely seemed to me like the end of the world.

You want to put the nicest person in your life in a little box, like, hey, just stay close to me, okay, done! I don't need to sit together every day at 6 PM, that gives me the creeps, but moving almost 9000 kilometers apart seems to me the other extreme.

Making both your dreams come true and developing yourselves separately while also having a nice life together is like cooking for me: you can't have all the flames burning equally hard. At least, I don't know anyone who can. If your career is on the rise, you automatically have less time for home, and if you spend attention on home, you have to cancel some tasks. C’est la vie. So the fire he has for me went temporarily to a lower flame.

I find the word 'latrelatie' (long-distance relationship) for seniors who no longer feel like trying hard with a sweaty upper lip. I don't want to use that word, but we did live apart for a year. At least, all his stuff was here, but he was only here once for Christmas.

We have a relationship and it remains, even at a distance, no matter how far it is. It's not easy to see each other once every two months, often sharing him with family during those moments and then there's that nine-hour time difference. But we are still on, so we have done something right.

Hereby my 5 tips to bridge a long distance:

Make it simple

Make good agreements with each other and by that I mean: plan moments when you can see each other, then you have something to look forward to. Also agree well on when you will talk to each other and how often. Or at least make sure you talk about what your needs are and how the other can meet them. Then no one feels shortchanged.

Make it fun

Fill those days when you see each other with fun dates and nice moments. You probably see each other in a different city; then go out together, explore and enjoy the opportunity that you have a date in a special place. If you see each other in your home country, enjoy the normal, hanging out on the couch together or eating at your favorite restaurant.

Make it sexy

When you see each other, go for it! Get a spray tan, get a wax, have your nails done… Go to that airport looking like a babe. Buy a new dress that shows off your breasts and go for it. Jumping into bed together when that’s not always possible is fantastic, especially after a long time apart. If you don’t see each other, send a nice photo or flirt in a message. Give compliments and make the other feel special.

Make it real

In all honesty: seeing each other little is tough. That's why it's important to be open with each other. If you're tired, say it, if you want to cry, cry for a bit. If you're angry, maybe wait a bit before calling. Be especially open about your feelings, only then can the other understand you.

Make it easy

Nothing is easy in the world, but everything you do or what is a challenge will always be easier in hindsight than you ever thought. Enjoy the extra time you have for yourself, your family, your friends, and your work. Let those flames burn hard, because there will come a time when it will be different again.

Written by: Esmée Geeratz