If you always have to cry on New Year's Eve

On the last day of the year, regardless of who I am with, there is one tradition. And that is: reflecting back.

It is good to take a moment to reflect on the year that has passed again. You choose a highlight and a low point. You have to choose. And then you can choose a dream, something you wish for in the new year. So not what you would ever want, but exactly what you wish for the coming year. In the past, that was something like: ‘passing exams’ or ‘scoring three times in one hockey match’. Believe me: enough material for tears, because it is always emotional. Or sometimes very funny. Because the last rule is, and this was especially fun during puberty, you can confess something. Reveal something you have kept secret this year. And the rule is that no one is allowed to be angry about it.

This is how the worst yet also funniest stories came to the table, back at our home, where we always celebrated December 31st with our best friends and family. Sneaking around in cars without a driver's license. Going to a wild festival in Germany without saying anything. Those ketchup stains on the curtain? Uh yeah, that was me. House party when you were on a weekend trip to Texel. Oops. Or my father who really accidentally lost my mother's bike basket but didn't dare to tell her. To which she was so attached. But no one got angry.

This year I might have a little less to confess, but all the more highlights to look back on. My highlight is not my wedding. How painful it is, because yes, it was indeed the most beautiful day of my life. And it is also not my amazing honeymoon through California and Hawaii. It is that I became pregnant. That it was granted to me, that it was granted to us, that it went so easily. The idea that I am going to be a mother.

And there you go. Spending those very last days of the year together with your loved ones has something special. Something that makes you emotional right away. And I haven't even played Auld Lang Syne yet. The most beautiful New Year's song. Don't be ashamed, many people struggle with those emotions around the turn of the year. Another year over. And a new year waiting for you – with who knows what all.

My wish for 2019 is very clear: to bring two healthy children into the world. I hope for all of you also very, very much beauty in this new year. And keep being a little naughty here and there, otherwise confessing in December will be so boring.