If you're not a cyclist

But do live in the Netherlands

Those VanMoof bikes in our hallway, I'm a bit into them. Not that we often go out together, because I'm not a cyclist, but I think they're incredibly cool. When I walked around the Amayzine offices for three weeks, May suggested taking the bike. Just a little ride through Amsterdam on the bicycle, because the weather was nice. I started to panic at the thought. And yes, in front of a full terrace, I almost ended up with my legs wide apart, gasping for breath on the street. I was lying somewhere in the gutter in a mini dress, and that doesn't make it any prettier.

In high school, I cycled ten kilometers there and ten kilometers back. I could easily do that in twenty-five minutes. But when the bike could go to the willows, I hung it up myself. I moved to our metropolis and did everything on foot, by tram, or by metro. The GVB and I, we were buddies. I had my two bikes stolen right in front of the door at the Dappermarkt, and I've never owned a bike since.

Not being a cyclist in the Netherlands is not accepted. Outside the borders, they think we still take our steel horse for a ride from Groningen to Terneuzen. But I'm very much team car. People who cycle don't understand this and look at you very strangely. It's so bad that I schedule my appointments outside the office at the beginning or end of the day, so no one suggests the bike. I can hide behind the fact that I'm much faster that way and it's more practical and more of that kind of nonsense. I plan my groceries weekly, because hey, hell no, I'm not going to be swinging through the village with all those bags on the handlebars. So, that's bike-avoiding behavior.

But cycling also has its advantages. For instance, you sober up extremely well after a night of gin and tonics when you have to try to bike straight home for fifteen minutes. You immediately get a little workout (at least, that's Kiki's wisdom) and it's free. Provided they don't get stolen too often, but you'll definitely get your ten-ride card back in no time. And uhh, well, those were my advantages.

The disadvantages then, because it all has to stay in balance. The rain. The wind. The cold. The hair that never sits normally. The wet jeans. Too warm, because you're sweating within five minutes. Bikes get stolen. Keys break off. The hassle with chains (forgive my language). Tires that go flat. The struggle of carrying one wheel up when you've lost your key. People who think you're stealing a bike. The tram tracks. The danger, because you get almost hit by a car at least once a day (says a cycling colleague). Want more? Because if you ask, I can easily list a thousand more inconveniences.

But it has to happen sometime. I'm a non-cycling Dutch person, that's like a tennis player who can't play tennis. Maybe I'll become a fair-weather cyclist, because I can't keep ignoring my cycling roots. Just to see if I can do it. Well, with a maximum, because there's a limit to fun cycling. I estimate about a quarter of an hour. I'll keep you updated. And if you see me cycling? Just wave, okay? For support, because I need that.