10x what May thought when she read the Story

So we are on vacation. And vacation calls for magazines. Also those magazines. So I dove into the plane with ten kilos of reading material. Quote, HP/De Tijd, Glamour, Amayzine, Psychology, but also all the gossip magazines.

And the find from Story (after all, the juiciest magazine) I just have to share with you, because what Daan and I read there... The word hilarious was rarely more appropriate.

1. This is what Sylvie Meis said

Okay, I wasn't there, but there were people at Sylvie's fortieth birthday and they briefed everything to the people from Story.

• First, let's talk about her outfit. That hair. That dress. Honestly, I can find Sylvie beautiful and stylish, but what was this for a Mariah Carey revisited? You can have a hundred eighties themes, but this outfit took the cake.
• What do you think, did Sylvie sleep under the tanning bed? A day or two? Even the Story spread sticks together, it's all so slippery and shiny.
• But then her speech. It was literally transcribed in Story. That she was grateful for her friends and family. That the last ten years of her life had been turbulent. That she had been sick and had gotten divorced. And then it came. She said: ‘I think it's amazing that I turned forty today. I am beautiful, healthy, and in the company of all my loved ones.’ I repeat: ‘I am beautiful, healthy, and in the company of all my loved ones.’ It's just nicer than you can imagine. Guys.
• How happy Story must be that there are people like Sylvie. ‘How many men has that woman gone through by now?’ ‘Number 168 is also not at her party.’

2. About Adam Curry and the queen

Adam Curry was apparently invited to the standout lunch with Queen Máxima and King Willem-Alexander. Daan reads to me. ‘Since when is Adam Curry a standout?’ She looks it up. ‘Ah, he was invited because he received a Marconi Lifetime Achievement Award earlier this year from Frits Spits.’ Daan: ‘My goodness, haven't they all been under a rock for years? What is this, sixties news, I don't want to know all this?’

3. Connie Witteman's upper lip (formerly Breukhoven)

Speaking of eighties celebs. But why did Connie accidentally put the bicycle pump on her upper lip instead of the filler injection? Well, it's nice that she has remained so natural and breathes that delightful, effortless Parisian style.

4. That hurts, Dotan

Not only has Dotan scammed quite a bit, but it also turns out he hasn't wanted contact with his family for years.

 
And with his nice mother. She apparently even has to buy a ticket for his concerts herself. According to Story, that is. And, also interesting, the trolls seem to want to erase from Dotan's Wiki page that Patty Harpenau is his mother. Dotan! I thought you were so nice and sincere. What is happening?

5. All praise for Paul Schulten

So I have to explain to Daan who Paul Schulten is. Well Daan, he is the couturier who took over Edgar Vos's company. Edgar who? Oh, never mind. In any case, he has a lot to say about other people we don't know like Vajèn van den Bosch, he pees a little on Kim Kötter and shows with a photo from his own show (which no one else has ever seen) how it should be done. Wokeeeee. We are already looking forward to next week and will take the advice to heart, Paul.

6. This is not true

‘This is not true, May. This is not a star quartet.’

7. This is a doll, right?

8. We see photos of fresh football wives who are all only referred to by their first names.

Nermina from Erik Pieters must be a doll. Tell us this is a doll. But Isabella looks beautiful. She is from Danny Holla. Never heard of them otherwise, but nice. Maybe a suggestion to mention last names and clubs next time, then we are back in the loop.

Melanie from Wesley Hoedt (same, same) we find a cutie. And Kaylee from Nathan Aké seems to us the exactly-how-you-want-your-hair football wife. Bring on the new generation.

9. Antonio Banderas has a Dutch girlfriend

We just read this between the lines. Her name is Nicole Kempel and she is an investment advisor. Beauty and brains then. Now you can say a lot about Melanie Griffith, but... No, that's too easy. We just won't finish the sentence.

10. Uh, sorry

Shula Rijxman is being dragged through the mud because oh oh oh, she works for the public broadcaster and has a villa in the Gooi. What a shame. Of our tax money. First of all: maybe that woman has her own money? Secondly: that woman has a high position. Thirdly: the villa was bought for 700,000 euros. Sorry, that costs an average home in Amsterdam on the third floor too. I would say: what is this for incitement?

But aside from a few critical points here and there, we enjoyed it. Next week again.