If your hairdresser literally cancels ten days before your wedding

If you suddenly have only ten days left to count down to your wedding after a year, then I tell you: you can hardly do anything. Burn pizza in the oven? Well #^!%!$!>. What can I actually do in life?

The package with earrings for the wedding that arrives a day late. Godchristus, that damn mail always. My cat coming to lounge on my crackling fresh white clean bed with muddy wet paws, because cats sleep sixteen hours a day, while I work my ass off to pay for those two little kibbles? Spray bottle and get out. Dropping my perfume bottle, my thong that doesn't fit right, the laundry detergent is out? Crying. Really. The Albert Heijn seems miles away, I can't take it to have to look for another bottle of Robijn there. With all the nerves and stress, everything is just too much. Every comment is annoying. Every person I see is annoying. Sorry, it can't be helped, I'll be back in eleven days.

But when something really happens that causes panic, then the trouble is real. Soft-boiled, even.

My hairdresser kindly yet seriously sends me a message that she ‘can't come to the wedding after all’. ‘Can't come after all’. This appointment has been set for months. Months. What am I saying? Three-quarters of a year. She won't make it because she ‘doesn't feel well’, followed by a ‘sorry and good luck’. Guys, that whole mega wedding is in just ten days. Ten. What is a person to do without a hairdresser? What. Am. I. Without. A. Hairdresser.

No okay, it sounds a bit worse than it is. There were supposed to be two hairdressers. My friend is doing my hair and makeup, another hairdresser was supposed to provide the mothers, grandmothers, sisters, and the bridesmaid with a festive hairstyle. And she isn't coming. So my dearest loved ones will have tangles, frizzy hair, and a messy bedhead without curls. No, good. Actually, it sounds exactly as bad as it is..

Then my boyfriend comes home. He sees the storm brewing in full glory above my head and tries not to ask about it, but thinks he can cheer me up by showing me the wedding rings. ‘Look darling, the rings are ready! With our date engraved in them! Look how beautiful, your ring! Look how it shines! Try it on, nice!’ Not a good idea. My wedding ring is also too big. Way too big. It wobbles around my ring finger. Error. Mega error.

With a thong that doesn't fit right, I am desperately looking for someone who can work magic with styling and curling irons on Saturday in ten days. And hey, just a quick stop by the jeweler, of course, all the time for that.

FACTS

• On average, a hairdresser at your wedding costs you 150 euros.
• Most people get engaged in December.
• A couple is on average 15 days on honeymoon.