Kiki's Expedition Robinson Babbles

Good morning disaster tourists. It's time for your Friday morning island newspaper again. Time for new babbles. Time to kick off the weekend by chatting a bit more about the eleven lucky bastards still participating in the best program on Dutch television.

The island group is getting smaller and smaller. First, Gwen was slyly booted out by Team Laurie's shivering plans, and this week it seems like all the ‘oldies’ are in trouble. No one is safe. A number of expedition members especially, which still makes me want to cry. Well, shall we? I turned on the TV last night and this is what I thought:

1. Making fire isn't really going well in both grumpy camps this morning. But what I totally don't understand: why don't they lay out a few dry kindling sticks in every season?! They have a food box. Or is it just me?

2. Picture this. Horror movie with Stijn in the lead role. Sneaking up your stairs at night with wet hair. HOW CAN A PERSON BE SO SCARY CHOPPING COCONUTS.

3. Is there a Corry fan day coming up soon? I'm asking this for a good friend. Who doesn't know we're going yet, but here it is.

4. Okay, distracted. Is that an ant? What is that gigantic scary creature?!

5. Time for the test. Camp North Crazy manages to win the water puzzle for the second time in a row. Uh-oh. Sandra and Jan: you guys are in trouble, my friends.

6. Always typical. Where one dictator is forced to resign, the next one rises. #HiLaurieWereWatchingYou.

7. “If you go for Jan, then I’ll go for Jan. If you go for Sandra, then I will too.” Hey Robin, women really get a very dry flamoes from this kind of nonsense, huh, dude. A bit more spice in that Rotterdam ass. And Oz, you too, step on it with that lollipop.

8. Oh no, wait, actually Ozzy is quite a boss, because can we talk about how he always pulls his own plan at the Island Council and messes everything up, HAHA? Last week HIS vote went to Sandra. Nice, Oz. I like fish that swim against the current.

9. John and Cor. I don't know, man. You guys are doing something to me. Please take kids with each other.
J: “Old giant, are you coming along? Let's see if we can find a Chinese restaurant.”

C: “Or Indian!”

10. My heart melts every time Corry says ‘Sjonnie’. Absolutely adorable.

11. John is really my man. He is really yelling at me on that island. And have you ever seen a contestant who – just doesn't care – packed a PAIR OF JEANS for Robinson? Genius. #BeLikeJohnInTheJungle. #okégeefmaartoe #Levis #spon.

12. Robin: “Humor is spread by me. But I do that together with Ozzy.”

*Hears crickets…

13. Robin off camera: “I also know that a cucumber has more humor than Oz, but I can't say that on camera.”

14. Do you… also… have… the… idea… that… Sandra… is… tired of life…? That woman talks so slowly and lifelessly.

15. Oliebollen. Banana fries. Dumplings. Risotto à la Devil's Island. If two contestants make you want to eat their food: then I actually think you can call yourself the biggest survivor ever. Then those youngsters can learn something from it. And those rappers who go home crying after three days even more. Really, a standing ovation and a lot of respect for Johnny Kraajkrab and Corry KrabbenKoning.

16. No no no neeeeeeeee. What a mess. Production, what are you doing to us now? How can you split this royal couple? I could watch the adventures of those two every Thursday night for an hour and a half, man!

17. Meanwhile, Cor and John's revenge is that they make Nicolette wait for five quarters in the blazing sun while they calmly play a game of pinball bingo. Yeah, then you get cranky, huh, darling? Now I understand that grumpy face.

18. She will probably never admit it honestly, but I think, you know, Cor let John win on purpose. She was way ahead with that puzzle, man. That's also Cor, take one for the team you know. I suddenly wish her grandchildren too. And all of us a grandma like that.

19. The production must have realized that Cor was a one in a million candidate. Have you ever seen such an extensive farewell piece with flashbacks and everything? Or should I remind you of Aisha? That's what I mean.

20. Hear hear, Twitter. Hear hear. ‘Jan! Sandra! Where has your fighting spirit gone? You should have pushed back, schemed more, made a front against Lauri... What a passive bunch this is. My expedition heart is out of whack….’

21. HAHAHA, OZZY HAS AGAIN VOTED FOR JAN ALL BY HIMSELF. HE’S A REBEL.

22. Okay, all Sandra zombie jokes aside: that woman is freaking athletic. And Camp Unknown is well on its way to becoming Camp Unpleasant if they keep this up, just give me that merger. Curious how that will go together. Woohoo, next week already, I'm ready with that ass on the couch.

P.S.: Check my Insta Stories at @kikiduren for a special tribute to Corry.

P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you're pissed that either Corry or John also had to leave this week. Sandra was already going, right? Why two?