Entertainment

Kiki's Mollotenbrabbels

week 2

Heeeeee molliebollie! How nice that you are back. I knew you would come back. You and I, we need each other in the coming weeks, see it as a little pact. Because together we are going to unmask the Mole this year. You pass a bit of info to me, I to you.

For those who don't watch Wie is de Mol? and wonder why they are even reading this piece, believe me: do it. At least give it a chance. We're only in episode 2 and once you step onto this rollercoaster, you won't want to get off. And if you missed episode 1, no worries, just read my first mole babbles and you'll be completely caught up. That said: for all the returning diehard mole fans who want to embark on this adventure with me again this year: eternal sticky kisses and Oreo cookies for you. Time to chat about our favorite sewing-each-other-up show. And I can tell you: this was quite a cringeworthy episode. A very painful double murder was committed, that little snake in the grass turned out to be a freaking PYTHON, and we need to talk about the, um, most vague eliminated contestant from the show ever. Yeah sorry, I can't make it any different, buddy. Time for the episode in 14 points.

1. ‘You know that if you lie, there's the death penalty for that...’ Hi Olcay, nice to meet you! Okay, the tone is set you, peepz.

2. It must be said: buying a little bit of a nice rain suit is an art. I thought Bella looked the best in her bright yellow Paddington Bear outfit.

3. I just googled Paddington Bear and found out that that fucker doesn't have a yellow coat, but a blue one. HOW THEN?

4. Okay, Olcay really can't be the Mole. I'm crossing that off. Just casually leaving 500 euros in that envelope while half laughing. Bye, as if the creators would choose such a big mole trick so prominently in the montage in episode 2. No way, Olcay is not the Mole. If it were up to Twitter, she would be the new Soundos though.

5. ‘Yesterday's episode was called ‘switch trick’. You EXCHANGE money for products in a supermarket. Ruben Heins’ last name resembles Heijn from Albert Heijn. Albert Heijn is a supermarket. Coincidence?' People, please follow this account with silly WIDM clues on Twitter, because I'm cracking up.

6. Am I the only one who suddenly slammed the brakes on Stine? At the market, she immediately sprints after fast Olcay and Jan, but does nothing else. Doesn't recognize people, sows confusion (she calls ‘the woman who looks like a man’ a man) and says during the test that the Mole could take it easy in this episode. Talking about yourself, babe?

7. Loes wants to go to Art to drop off the bills as soon as the 50s have been exchanged for 20s. But GIRL, they still had to exchange for tens. You don't forget something like that in such an important task, do you? Girl, you had one job.

8. So out of all the options. From that gigantic suitcase of clothes. You choose as a fashion designer. For a chic evening. For a jumpsuit. With lace trumpet sleeves. Stripper stilts. And a sheer belly shirt. No, okay.

9. By the way, shall we start the hashtag #CommentsfromOlcay?

  • ‘I find it hard to see how badly Stine dresses’
  • ‘I just let the group fumble a bit’
  • ‘Sometimes you also need the little people to achieve the big goal’
  • ‘I HAVE TO PEE!’ #SomeoneTakesWhinyBitchVeryLiterally

11. Look. There are a number of actions that immediately earn my respect. Appearing on television in a sweater where it's not clear whether you're looking at a dolphin or a banana is one of them. Hey Bella, I like you.

12. What is even worse than being the first to be eliminated? Being the first to be eliminated, getting the chance to come back, and still being eliminated because the group doesn't want you back. #DisdainedToTheSquare #ForRonnie.

13. Oh god, help. What is EVEN EVEN EVEN worse than being the first to be eliminated and then not being taken back by your teammates? Being the first to be eliminated and then one of your teammates voluntarily quits. Ai ai ai. It keeps getting more painful...

14. I do wonder what exactly is going on with Jean-Marc. Didn't we all think of a serious family issue for a moment? Then he semi-dryly mentions due to the fatigue and stress to quit. And okay, that guy was shaking on his legs by those excavators, so somewhere it wasn't going well there, I think. But then just switch places with overly enthusiastic Ron in the theater for a moment, buddy. Come on.

Current status based on my Mole radar?

  1. Writer/philosopher Stine Jensen (ALARM BELLS! All ingredients in house for a brilliant Mole. Totally did nothing good this episode in my opinion.)
  2. Journalist Simone Weimans (caused a lot of confusion...)
  3. Actress Loes Haverkort (um, someone messed up this episode. The walkie-talkie didn't work. Excavator ‘broken’. Hmm, trust nobody...)
  4. Singer Ruben Hein (next week I'm going to keep a closer eye on you, buddy)
  5. Comedian Emilio Guzman (last week still very high on my radar, but now proven himself well and he corrected all the double bills on the notes board)
  6. Singer Bella Hay (I don't really know why, but I say: fine candidate.)
  7. Fashion designer Olcay Gulsen (come on, this can't be? No man, not a Mole)
  8. Presenter Jan Versteegh (if he is the Mole, I will eat my shoe. But really)
  9. Comic artist Jean-Marc van Tol (my god. The first person ever who voluntarily stepped out of WIDM.)

 
Well, will I see you mole buddies here again next Monday? Cozy. Heart at the bottom if you're also a bit out of sorts because of the bizarre ending of Jean-Marc. Yeah sorry.

P.S.: My mailbox kiki@amayzine.com is still officially open for all your bizarre theories and tips. It's already being used eagerly, but it can be more, people. Come on, we're talking about the Mole we need to unmask, all hands on deck is quite necessary.

P.P.S.: Want more laughs about WIDM brain farts? Check my Insta Stories at @kikiduren. Bye molmafkeesjes. Lobi!