KIKI’S TeMPTATION ISLAND BRABBELS
Episode 10
Last night was the worst ever. The episode you know is coming. The one you secretly look forward to. And when it suddenly happens and you see Deborah break down on TV, you really have a hard time with yourself and that disaster tourist behavior. I solemnly promise you on my communion heart. Deborah, you are shocked. I understand you, I feel you. But something in me says that that milk bottle in his fluorescent swimsuit will get his deserved payback. Just give it two more episodes and then Cherrie will get commitment issues, trust me. I would too with that tongue of Tim 24/7 in my throat. ‘Is that what you call a kiss? One more then.“ Ah gosh, man, just act normal for once.
Alright, what’s the score on the island of broken relationships? At Coconut Beach, two (or three, Mezdi remains a mystery) men have already succumbed to the seductresses. And it’s true that Megan has started with Joshua, but otherwise Kevin would have still been in bed with Chloë, no discussion possible. Anyway, we are three-quarters through the program and the creators have once again managed to do it the old-fashioned way: chaos has broken out. The paradisiacal, tropical Thailand is causing troubles in paradise. You understand: this needs to be talked about. And very quickly.
1. Okay, from one day to the next, the guy has fallen in love with that blonde cherry flap with a tacky name. I find it intense but god, yes, that can apparently happen. BUT CAMERA MEN, DOES THAT KISSING HAVE TO BE IN THE PICTURE ALL THE TIME? YUCKYUCKYUCK. #TeamDeborah
2. And what’s with all this moving in together this year? Alright. I’ll give them, just like with Joshua and Megan, a maximum of two episodes.
3. My entire irritation surrounding Jeremy summed up in two sentences…
Rick: “What happened that you had to prove yourself?”
Jeremy: “Something happened that made me have to prove myself.”
Jesus man, just don’t talk or something. I’m FREAKING annoyed by this guy.
4. Really sexy, dude, when your tough guy under the tattoos reacts like that to the threats from the alpha male of the camp. Including a Flemish accent. “He can come break all my windows, right? I’m insured anyway.”
5. Hahahaha. Fabrizio still hasn’t realized that he’s signed up as a seducer and not as a couple.
6. @JohndeMol, why don’t we do a Temptation Island The Battles like we do with The Voice? Mezdi and Fabrizio in the ring, Cherish and Deborah. WHAT A FORMAT!! Popcorn for everyone!
7. Every time you feel bad about your own life, just think about the fact that you could also have a red-blue failed woman/wolf tattooed on your ribs, done by a unstable guy, causing you to have arguments with your partner for the rest of your relationship. Bet you’ll feel better?
8. Help. The campfire is about to start. Ooooh, this is terrible. On the edge of my seat. Hand over my mouth. Deborah sees it happening. The thin line between schadenfreude and finding it freaking sad. She’s shaking all over and I’m also holding back my tears. Is this normal?
9. I actually found Deborah quite calm somewhere. I would have run to that other resort and shoved that torch up his ass. #TimFobie
10. Secretly, I have to laugh a little at the angry Belgian accent of ‘debraleemans’. “Stupid Knabbel and Babbel. Dirty bastard, goddammit!!!”
11. On one side of the resort sits Rick BrandStoker and on the other side, Anneleen is still trying to pull something positive out of Daniëlle which is already long gone.
Anneleen: “Do you still get happy when he says sweet things? I saw you laughing.”
Daniëlle: “Yeah, I just laugh at him.”
Ooh, YO MAMA!
12. By the way, I’m also really annoyed by all those guys who suddenly start shouting that ‘opening up’ to temptation is really the goal. NO, LOSER, RESISTING IS THE GOAL.
13. Why I love Twitter during the episode: “Deborah is an anagram for Bedroah. Bedroah is how Megan pronounces ‘betrayed’. So actually, we could have seen this coming.”
14. Every time Deborah says ‘Sjino’ instead of Gino and you see him chuckle a bit.
15. Did you guys also watch Temptation Talk? Dafak is going on with Tim? Was that guy on sedatives or something?
16. When Afterpay suddenly comes up with brilliant ads during the broadcast. “Letting yourself be seduced by something that doesn’t suit you? Afterpay. You pay afterwards.” If only he had done that with that ring, Tim.
17. Next week in Temptation Naailand? The cohabitation adventure of Cherrie pie and Tim was short-lived (‘living together suits me well, my ass!’) and gorilla Mezdi is swatting Fabrizio with a gigantic primal penis in the face of Mister Coloring Page. We don’t want to miss that, believe me.
P.S.: What we are giving away this week on my Instagram P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if the disaster tourist in you can't wait for next week's nuclear disaster during the campfire. Wow, wow... Shit is going to be painful. 150 m2 double glass ‘Mezdi-proof’ for home, three times the limited edition Rick BrandStoker matches and the Rumag T-shirts with the new texts from Tim. TIGHT. ASS. AND. FUCKING. VULGAR. MOUTH.
P.P.S.: Has victim support already been activated for Deborah? Man man, what a season again. Heart at the bottom if you also think Tim is a first-class jerk.
