KIKI’S TEMPTATION ISLAND BRABBELS

Episode 11

Ha, relationship seeker first class, wonderful that you are back. The last campfire could easily be called a kind of big bang. Yes, even I was sitting there with a trembling lip and that says something. Poor Deborah, up to her little butt in problems. What's on the agenda today? A lie detector. Or as Anneleen says with her Flemish accent: ‘Today the couples get the chance to really put their partner to the test, because in this ultimate relationship test, nothing is what it seems…’ Woke wokeee, Who is the Mole? slogans are being stolen, everything.

Good. I know you want it. It started with innocently watching and now you are knee-deep in it. Time to babble. Get it? DO YOU GET IT? No, I don't get it either. Sorry mom…

1. ‘We were together for four years and now after a few days she’s already flying off to those Cherieeeees. I find that strange.’ No Deborah, we don’t find that strange. We just find it very special.

2. Human children. That you wonder how Vanessa can even sleep with those sticky eyelashes XXL deluxe. Not only Red Bull gives you wings, the party store does too. Pfoeeeeee. Wonderful, all those wake-up interviews. Just skip Megan for a bit. Better for everyone.

3. Well damn. How filthy are Cherish and Timtation pulling at that bacon in that bed? Look, I was hungry. Really in the mood for a fried egg with breakfast bacon. But then I saw Cherish holding that piece of meat and eh NEVERMIND okay? #DontGoBaconMyHeart.

4. Oh dear, the guys from the editing were really little dragons again this episode.

Deborah: ‘It’s over. I’m exhausted.’ *wipes tear from cheek.
Editing starts music in: ‘I don’t give a fuck about they’

5. What is secretly a really deliciously vulgar picture to get into the party mood. I looked it up. Just click here. No thanks needed.

6. The best part about Temptation Island is still the seducers who fall into their own trap and suddenly start to have ‘feelings’ HAHAH. Chloë. ‘Do you get it?’ Fabrizio. Pommeline crying last year. Oh mama, I love this television.

7. Request to the creators: can Jeremy just stay drunk for the remaining days please? ‘I love my boeboe till the end.’ HAHAHA.

8. I foresee a new trend on Twitter: the #ScaleOfTemptation

– On a scale from 1 to yellow swim trunks, how urgently do you need to go shopping?

– On a scale from 1 to Jeremy talking in the confession booth, how drunk are you?
– On a scale from 1 to lie detector at Temptation, how cheap was that opening line?

9. A comment that made me laugh really hard: ‘Tim is really the kind of person who goes to the store for a loaf of bread and comes back with half a household on installment 1TP5ImpulsiveLittleMan.’

10. Still brilliant that only the left Michel’s of the Dutch have to justify themselves to the lie detector.
Rick: ‘Do you prefer Daniëlle or your bathrobe?’

The sweaty lip of Mezdi: ‘Uh, Daniëlle?’

YOU FILTHY LIAR!!

11. Ah, what a bummer, I thought I was already resistant to the annoying statements of Tim. But when he started talking about the ‘tap’ on the ‘little sprout’ of his ‘cherry’ I couldn’t help but make a quick trip to the toilet.

12. To cut the program's budget, Tim will now do the housekeeping and fold pajamas into swan shapes.

13. Swim coach Inge has finally realized that she is too old for this program and is transforming into a relationship coach. By the way, she immediately says what we all think: Tim is psycho. ‘I trust Cherish (whom he has known for ten days) more than my own mother. Even if I have to drive to the Netherlands every day and only sleep two hours a night, I don’t care.’ Um… Meanwhile, you see Tim the creep in the background quietly laying some rose petals on the bed, hahaha.

14. It’s funny how the male brain can be convinced of its own bad ideas. Tim: Candles, flowers, soon a scent added. I think she will really appreciate that.’ Cherish to Inge: ‘Uh, he’s actually a bit over the top, right?’ Cherish, my tip: run now. Very fast. Don’t look back. Very scary.

15. Tell me you also watched Temptation Talk. IS THAT ROSANNA? Help. Eternal shame.

16. Next week in Temptation Naailand? Deborah is going to cautiously fiddle with ‘Sjino’, (come on, girl, REVENGE! You can from us!), Jeremy finds out that he is only fun when drunk and Cherish is already looking for her running shoes. We don’t want to miss that, believe me.

P.S.: What we are giving away this week on my Instagram @kikiduren? HAAAAAA this time really the ‘TIGHT. BUTT. AND. FUCKING. VULGAR. MOUTH’ T-shirt from Rumag (no joke, I wrote that last week as a joke and now they printed it and brought it to me. Rumag, you are bosses. My life is complete, thank you). Want to win the shirt? Click here. I will announce the winner today at 5:00 PM.

P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if Joshua can also wash his feet in your room…