KIKI’S TEMPTATION ISLAND BRABBELS
Episode 12
Suddenly I feel it. It's almost over, our disaster tourism. The party is coming to an end. What a misery. What are we supposed to talk about NOW? And yes, okay, there will be a separate program for the seducers (with my man Kaj Gorgels), but still. It's day 12 of Temptation and aside from Vanessa and Jeremy who have been steady for three months (snore), everyone else has simply cheated on each other one way or another. Applause for the creators, they've done it again. Trust me, Kevin, if anything was torn yesterday, it was my mouth corners. It's time to discuss shit, right? You know me.
1. If Tim says one more time with a pathetic Bambi look that something ‘new’ has grown that he himself ‘also had no influence on’, I'll stuff that Deborah T-shirt up his ass. I’ll make it look like an accident…
2. Mezdi’s thoughts. Shit, shit, shit, panic. Bathrobe thrown in the wash by the maid. Crap. And now? Okay, fuck it. Then I'll just wear that turtleneck.
3. Good. Mrs. Chloë is 20 years old and ‘independent’. So, eh, what does that mean exactly? That you can find the toilet by yourself when you need it?
4. Fortunately, the guys support each other well during the campfire. HAHA.
Tim: ‘I'm worried about the footage. Now there's going to be another layer added.’
Mezdi: ‘Another layer? A whole bucket, dude.’
5. A little reality check for Zwanetta and Laetitia. Are you still on the same island? Where are those chicks?
6. HAHAHA. The best conversation on the island so far.
Kevin: ‘Sorry mom.’
Chloë: ‘Are you going to say sorry to my mom too?’
Kevin: ‘What's her name?’
Chloë: ‘Nancy.’
Kevin: ‘Sorry Nancy.’
7. No, but seriously. Life is full of surprises. It turns out we find Kevin to be the least unbearable man on that whole island.
8. Okay, I need to share this tweet with you.
@xanderycke: ‘Tim is the only man on #TemptationIsland who always walks around almost naked because 70% of his body is forehead.’
9. Tim's judgment is actually just very clever. Rare even. ‘I know I'm making someone happy.’ And poor Cherish meanwhile is digging on that beach to find the emergency exit. CHERISH IS THE MOLE!
10. Tim: ‘If we get married in 2, 4, 8, 10 years...’
Cherish: ‘We'll see when we're home.’
Aiiii. Yo mama!
11. Messiah Mezdi comes again with some wise statements. ‘My behavior is separate from her reaction. I will not reveal my opinion.’ Not reveal your opinion? Or tell Rick that a lot needs to happen at the last campfire for it to be okay? ‘If she gives me the material, then I'll get to work on it.’ The material? TALK NORMALLY. With your LOI course. Clown.
12. Have you all noticed that Gino talks continuously with a smile? Please keep an eye on it in the next episode, you're going to crack up.
13. I'm just sitting here again with a trembling lip looking at Deborah by the campfire. Seriously people, this is no longer normal, it's so pathetic.
14. Okay, I'm over it again. But really only because I just heard Joshua say: ‘The only thing you want is my dick.’ MY DICK? HAHAHA.
15. Next week on Temptation Naailand? Jeremy grabs everything that is loose and fixed during the dream date (if this happens I seriously need resuscitation), the burned photo of Tim washes up on the women's resort (resuscitation 2.0) and Cherish plans a master plan to poison Tim during the finale. Believe me: watch.
P.S.: What we are giving away this week on my Instagram @kikiduren? Finally! The Emerald hanging ivy from Intratuin (worth 10.99 euros) to spruce up your ugly balcony, 45 minutes fiddling with Joshua's ‘dick’ and 6 free group therapy lessons with our Timmie.
P.P.S.: Heart at the bottom if the disaster tourist in you can't wait until Tim has to look Deborah straight in the eyes again. And the big question of course: what is that crazy guy doing with his ring?!
NEXT WEEK FINALE BYEEEE
Greetings from Piet.
