KIKI’S TEMPTATION ISLAND BRABBELS
Episode 14
Hey troublemakers. I have good and bad news. The good news is: the king is having a birthday, so you're probably off work. The bad? The end of our Thai vacation is near. For almost three months, we've been chatting every Friday morning about all the ins & outs of Temptation Naailand and suddenly I realize: shit is almost over. Final score? As it stands now, three out of four relationships are going down. Vanes & Jer, I think it's impressive. A round of applause for you. Never seen such boring television (accept the part when Jeremy was drunk in that straw hut with Nelly-bandage), but you did cross the finish line unscathed. We finally got an answer in the double episode to the question of what happens to Tim's ring. You understand: we need to chat about this. For the second-to-last time. Buckle up, here we go.
1. Hahaha, so Cherish thinks she can just sneak away from Tim, and he just looks for her in the bachelor rooms in the morning to get a kiss. I would cry so hard because of this guy.
2. Who else can't help but have constant eye-nipple contact with Laetitia? Good grief, what a bunch of peas. People, give that woman a bra. LaeTIETia.
3. I don't know about you, but I'm completely cracking up over Kevin in the last few episodes. If you're a guy wondering on national television whether that colored thong is yours or your fling's, you're just quite the boss.
4. Yuck. Does anyone know what those spiders are doing in Yasmine's eye? How did they even get there? Oh wait. What are you saying? Eyelashes?! Huh?
5. He’s digging the hole deeper and deeper. ‘Of course, I'm not going to exaggerate. It shouldn't come off as too suffocating.’
Two seconds later: ‘I'm so in love. The butterflies don't fit anymore. You too, right? Do you want to pick my flower? Another kiss? Marry me? House-garden-kid?’
6. In case it wasn't clear yet: it's not a joke. Tim was really born in the fitting rooms at Cool Cat. ‘If I marry Cherish, I wouldn't know why Deborah couldn't come too.’
7. Besides, I think it's quite an art to turn a romantic saying into a horror sentence. ‘Those butterflies are so big that they don't fit anymore.’ Who else pictures a scurvy with flying insects? STOP WITH THE IMAGINATION FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
8. Seriously, where is Zwanetta? Is she still on that island?! If not: you're right, kid. Run with that punani.
9. ‘Joshuahèmeehhoopgegev’n. Daerèhnohhoeiejongensrondlp’n. Ik kan ‘
supehoeméhèmprate.’ No chick, you can't even ‘hoeprate’. Just take our word for it: please give yourself that speech therapy course.
10. You can take Jeremy with you to knock that vulgar ‘ken’ out of his vocabulary. ‘That we start with a clean slate’, ‘that she can be proud of me.’ You just can't say that, buddy.
11. Oh fuck, that I'm only seeing this now. No one talks normally here. Cherish is auditioning for Tineke Schouten: ‘I also think he's very loyal, but I think he's too sweet for me.’
12. Oh yes, it’s dream date time! Production costs together with your biggest Temptation spending 24 hours in a Playboy mansion with a private pool and all that jazz. Oh. Or in a... TENT. MEZDI HAHAHA. He can barely get the word ‘glamping’ out with pursed lips. Karma much?
13. Damn. I've tried to defend myself against it, but I must say I'm also getting a bit hot from Joshua in his gray T-shirt and that wet hair look in that George-in-the-jungle resort.
14. Twitter joke of the week: ‘I was once at the same birthday party as Megan. She shared the koekerond there.’
15. Although this one comes pretty close too.
Matthew: ‘I'm BG and have a high libido’
*puts on a brightly colored eye mask*
Which woman on earth gets ‘BG’ from a man with an eye mask?!
16. Is there actually victim support for Fabrizio after Temptation? And keep hoping, huh, that guy. And that bulge in his pants must be kept in check during that ‘partner yoga’. I just find it sad now.
17. We knew Tim wasn't a mathematical wonder, but buddy, this takes the cake. Can someone explain to Tim that if you turn 360 degrees, you end up back in the same place?
18. Meanwhile, Gino is trying so hard to be on the same page with ‘his’ DebraLeemas that he's attempting a basic course in Flemish. ‘Do you think you'll cry when you see him?’ Buddy, it's crying. Please. Don't leave the lion standing in his shirt.
19. So Chloë is afraid Kevin will cheat again. And the first thing he says? ‘Khebhieding'nhèleerd.’ Haha. Ha-ha-ha. Sorry. Sorry mom. Sorry Nancy.
20. Cherissssssh the loooove we haaaaad. HAHAHA THAT MUSIC during Tim's date with the cherry pie. Once again, applause for the editing.
21. Mezdi: ‘I'm looking forward to seeing her. Whether we're going to fight, scream, or cry.’ Sounds like a cozy reunion already.
22. Meanwhile, Tim finds out that Cherish doesn't have a horse and/or dog at all. HAHAHA.
23. Time for the grand finale. The meeting between Tim and Deborah. Questions like ‘why was Mezdi's hammock empty?’ and ‘why didn't Jeremy see that Vanessa was secretly in bed with mister BG?’ don't even matter anymore. The only thing we want to know is. What. Happens. To. The. Ring...
24. Oh no, she did NOT just do that. WHAAAAAAAHAAAAA. In the campfire. What a finale. I hope Mrs. Leemans gets a standing ovation everywhere she goes today.
Dear creators, thanks for 15 episodes of brainless fun. Next week we’ll wrap it up grandly with the double thick live episode, amaiiii can't wait.
P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you were also cheering in front of the TV during the Legendary Ring moment.
P.P.S. no giveaway this week, folks, but do have a good laugh on my Insta Stories @kikiduren. See you there!
