Kiki's Temptation Island Vip babbles
OH. MY. GOD. I can barely get it out of my throat. The shit is on. I'm in shock. Our little Swan finally gets her banana. Sorry, but did anyone expect this from this episode? Call me Chef Naive, but I didn't. And um, is it just me or is Danique's red hair about to catch fire from all the flames between her and Don? the vip version ‘a pale imitation of’ would be. Well, this imitation is hard, I can tell you. Drill-hard, right, Alex? Time to babble.
1. Am I the only one who always cracks up at Alex's seduction tactics? And the fact that Roos falls for it at all?
A: Don't you have a bra on?
R: Stop it.
A: You look beautiful. Is that a catsuit?
R: Yes, nice, right?
A: Are you Catwoman?
R: Yes.
A: Oh sexy. Say, are we going on a dream date tomorrow?
2. Seriously, if you can get this out of your throat, then you're quite the boss, right? ‘I love him. I also want him to have a nice life. If space is the need, then I have to let him go.’ – SAID NOBODY EVER IN TEMPTATION. Oh wait… I just love Rowena. What a world woman.
3. So Danique and Don find each other ‘really very funny’. Oh fuck man. Don is really in love, I can see it.
4. At the moment I try to explain to friends that Temptation is really not as vulgar as it seems and they hear at that exact moment: ‘Roos needs more than just a cuddle. Roos needs one dirty, big, hard drill dick. That really enters dirty.’ Thanks, Alex. There go all my good arguments.
5. Just about the intense difference of those dream date locations. If you're sitting in that two-star (fine but basic) economy hotel room, don't you feel cheated when the others are in a honeymoon suite with a private pool?
6. If Niels just learns English a bit more, then ‘this is purfekt metschhhj’ will really come across as credible next time. Totally ment to be.
7. What idiots, by the way, that they all suddenly decide to get tattoos together. Haven't we learned anything from Daniëlle and the woman in the wolf? (hears Tim in the background: ‘Hey people. People! HEY PEOPLE! PEOPLE!!!’)
8. ‘I think Amijé finds this difficult because we can be heeeeeeele good friends. And I can't get around my feelings. So that's what it is now.’ Okay, that's it. He's in love.
9. The weekly slip of the tongue obviously comes from the labradoodle in the group. ‘Aren't you all adult people?’ Fab, darling, just don't talk, okay? Fine, thanks.
10. Think you're going to date privately, you arrive on a f*cking tourist boat with a whole camera crew. Nice, huh, that Mexico! Would totally happen to me again.
11. And Gelina (who has been locked in a cave with only other women for sixteen years) has to get used to her hotel room situation with Jay. ‘This is really VERY INTIMATE. VERY INTENSE.’ Can someone please rescue that woman?
12. Meanwhile, Roos is enjoying her pumped-up gorilla to the fullest. ‘Bon appétit.’ Sorry Niels, but as far as language goes, you're more of a purfekt metschhhj if you ask me.
13. And the award for the smartest quote of the episode goes to Kel. ‘If I turn my ass around once, then I think you're off.’ HAHAHA. Although ‘I looked like a walrus trying to teach them a trick’ could definitely work too.
14. Okay okay okay, we actually see Swan in a dress. In yellow even, love it. But um, is it just me or does it look a bit weird after all those days in pajamas/football shirts/men's shirts?
15. Stop, wait, I haven't said anything about Zwanetta. Stefano thought it was a good idea to go out to dinner with a woman without a shirt, but with a cowboy hat. #failtothemaxmyfriend
16. At the moment Stefano takes Kaj's comment ‘Get everything out that’s inside’ very literally and we all sit on the couch with big Bambi eyes. The yellow dress of Swan seems to have worked after all. WHAT. IS. HAPPENING. HERE?
17. At the moment they think they can avoid the cameras, we hear Swan already crumpling, fucking, and begging: ‘Don't come in me, come on me, yes, please.’ Yep, we heard that. And you're not going to tell me you say that when you're having sex with a condom. Aiii papi!
18. Also, people on Twitter are going crazy about Stefano: ‘What is wrong with Stefano?’ ‘Yes, we were already apart so the immediate danger was gone, but I decided to come on TV panting because I couldn't hold back – even though I would see my girlfriend again the next day?’
P.S.: Heart at the bottom if you totally cracked up at Stefano's ‘OMG-I'M FUCKED’ look during the campfire. HAHAHA, never seen such brilliant TV.
P.P.S.: Check my Stories on @kikiduren to see the animal that looks EXACTLY like Stefano during the campfire footage. ‘I've heard enough,’ says Gelina. I just can't. Can someone please fast forward my life to next week?
