Paris Roadtrip in 8 bizarre facts

So we went to Paris. By car. Because we are team Renault. And my fresh Twingo is from the unique la Parisienne family, so she deserved to get to know her roots. Moreover, I love long car rides with colleagues. Chatting for so long turns into almost wetting your pants from laughing to singing along loudly with Marco. And Guus. And Kenny. And then confessing that you find Gers Pardoel a bit not entirely unattractive and that you all seem to think the same. Anyway. Paris then. With six women. Things happen. Like this.

1. The tank embarrassment

You keep wondering why no petrol is rolling out of the tank. Twiggy (that's her name) is thirsty, people, thirsty. And we still have to get to Paris. Come on, come on. If it hasn't worked after two attempts, you start looking around. Prepay, ahaaaaaaa. And then you hope so deeply inside that no camera crew from Bananasplit comes around the corner.

2. I would call it pistachio

So you go to the cashier to pay. How does it work? The man answers in his best Belgian. ‘You can only pay cash.’ Oh. Cash. I dump my wallet out. Who on earth still carries cash these days? And does he really not accept American Express? And how much petrol do I need to buy then? I just got Twigs, so I actually have no idea what a full tank will cost me? ‘Is it the white car?’ asks the attendant. I reply that I would prefer to call it pistachio and then find a Lilian behind me who is doubled over laughing.

3. So we weren't in Paris

We suddenly found it going so fast. We were allowed off the highway and Google Maps indicated six more minutes. That it was a bit of a suburb. That I thought we were close to Pink Mamma (the restaurant of the moment), but that this is apparently a bit further away. That you actually want to puff away your disappointment because we thought we would be in the heart of Paris, but this is quite a different story. And then you find out that you ended up in another little village with the same address. And then you feel so incredibly blonde.

4. Speaking of blonde

So you also paid too much for the tank. Cash. Because Twiggy has a little belly and is a cheap lady. So a bit of petrol only costs you thirty euros, while you paid forty. That you could have really, really, really used the ten euros when the toll road also didn't accept American Express and all our debit cards were categorically refused.

5. Napoleon, of the candies

So we finally found our apartment (on Rue de Fidelité), dropped our luggage (with a FORTUNE of clothes and bags) and drove on in search of the nearest parking garage. Now Paris is rich in parking garages, clean and affordable too. On the way back, I looked for a benchmark to remember the way to the garage. On the corner was café Le Napoleon. ‘I'll remember that,’ said one of us whose name I won't mention for privacy reasons. ‘Of the candies!’

6. Kiki Verstappen

Do you remember that one about Kiki with street fear? As in: driving fear? As in: Panikiki behind the wheel? Well, that Kiki drove hard (not hard but symbolically speaking) in a straight line to Paris. And it felt like a rebirth, thanks to the Clio. ‘I sat nice and high, I felt safe, I had a view.’ Kiki and the Clio, a good pair.

7. The cow that laughs

That also makes us laugh. A cup of La Vache Qui Rit can serve as pu-rie-ma for dinner in the car. It stains a lot less than the vegan kale salad from Wild & The Moon and is of course much more French too. Topping it off with a nacho chip and washing it down with a light cola and before you know it, you're in the City of Light.

8. Looks can be deceiving

And nothing is what it seems. That too. Honestly, our Airbnb was fine, but in the photos, it looked much more royal than it was in reality. No wardrobe, no coat rack, no marble bathroom. Cushions as thin as napkins, no mirror in sight. It was supposed to be suitable for groups of up to ten people, but I can tell you: you immediately end up in the Guinness Book of Records. And I don't know WHO took the photos for the site, but if you're reading this; you can START working with us TODAY, because man oh man, how you can make things look better than they are.

More Paris? That's coming, you know. We're making a newspaper. A newspaper. To be continued.