Sex on the first date: bad idea if you want a long relationship?

‘In the past’ there were all sorts of rules that we could only give away our flower after a certain number of dates, otherwise you immediately got the label ugly duckling. Nowadays, that is (thankfully) different. Ending up in bed after a first date no longer raises eyebrows in today's Tinder era, whether you're in for a one-time adventure, something that continues to linger, or entering into a serious relationship with the other. However, LotteLust wonders if it also affects the success of a (long) relationship. We figured it out for you.

According to a study by American Cosmo, men do not think less of a woman if she jumps into bed with him after a first meeting. In fact, it is their preference. They prefer to know as soon as possible what kind of meat they have in the tub. Sex on the first date is a way for them to check if there is also a physical connection. If not, they quickly move on to the next one. This was also evident from this survey in which real men shared what they think about sex on date #1.

One night stands can also blossom into more, most do that nowadays (read here why). Research from the American dating site Match showed that 35 percent of respondents have a successful relationship that started as a one-time adventure.

‘In this day and age, people see sex as an important part of a successful relationship and not something to be ashamed of,’ explains Justin Lehmiller, relationship and sexuality psychologist at Harvard. ‘And for those people, it is important to establish sexual compatibility early on. Having sex on the first date is the perfect way to do this.’

Jumping into bed is not only a way to know if your date is good in bed, you also gather a lot of useful information about the person from one sexual encounter. ‘You see the other, you smell the other, you taste the other, and you touch the other. You learn a lot about a person between the sheets,’ explains anthropologist Helen Fisher. Also ask these 41 fun questions to your date and you have the whole picture.

But understand us well: do you prefer to wait until date number two… or twenty? That is of course your choice. As long as you don’t wait to pounce on him because you think he will reject you. ‘Don’t wait because you think the other will lose interest or respect for you,’ adds Andrea Syrtrash. She wrote ‘It’s Okay to Sleep with Him on the First Date: And Every Other Rule of Dating, Debunked’, so she knows. ‘Wait because you know what effect it has on you. It’s not about him. Men who are truly interested in you will still call you after they have seen you naked.’