That moment when your honeymoon consists of an Excel file

At a wedding, there are many romantic and sickly sweet things involved. For example, we talk daily about lavender sprigs, ivory white or off-white icing for the cake, and light pink flower petals for the bridesmaid's basket.

Another nice topic: the vows we are going to write down. And then say how much we love each other. And that we want to grow old together. And that we find each other so handsome, pleasant, smart, and extraordinarily wonderful. You might think the world can't be sweeter, but appearances can be deceiving. Because it can also be very businesslike, boring, and dry, you know.

Just think of a honeymoon. If you suddenly spend three weeks abroad as newlyweds after the big day, that is of course very mushy. And yet not. Because our entire planning is already set, weeks before departure, worked out in detail... in an Excel sheet. I'm not joking.

I find more information in it than in an average travel guide. How long the drive is to where, where we will sleep, what hotel room we have, whether there is a minibar or not, whether the room has a sea view or not, what the costs are per night, how much gas we need per day, where we can refuel, what time we will be in which place in California, and roughly what time we will continue our journey the next morning. Everything.

It's a kind of love project from my boyfriend. He loves nothing more than organizing things. I hate organizing. So that matches well, because he can plan until he weighs a ton and I can just slide my butt into that Ford convertible he rented on day three. Yes, I already know that we rented a white convertible. Of course, I know that. It's on line 18 section C, of course, under the heading: ‘transport‘. Think practically, guys, when you're getting married, practically.

But you know: I actually find it quite endearing. My boyfriend is so enthusiastic about this big and far trip (yes, also about our wedding, but a wine tasting in Napa Valley is also hard to beat) that he wants to figure everything out. To analyze. He tirelessly searches the internet to find the trendiest hotel on the entire American West Coast. It's his latest hobby. Running, there’s always a different excuse for that every day. Going to the gym? Hahahahahaha. He has never even signed up for that. Would he know where there’s a gym in our area? But planning trips? You can leave that to my guy . I even know what the menu is at hotel one in Malibu Beach, and what the hotel owner's name is, and where her cousin lives.

A honeymoon in an Excel file: it’s incredibly formal. And yet also very cute. I’ll see you at 10:03 at Schiphol at check-in desk 4 in departure hall 1, darling.

FACTS

• Dutch couples most often go to Spain or Turkey on their honeymoon
• 80% of the newlyweds go on their honeymoon in the first days after the wedding
• Postponing is out: but 1% of the couples go on a honeymoon a year after the wedding