The 31 party mistakes you can still make as a twenty-something

There are a few things that are certain in life, for example that the sun rises in the morning, you can get the best smoked sausage at Hema, and that Labrador puppies are cute, but what is especially certain is that you never learn from a hangover.

No matter how bad it may be. Hangovers are there, well, mainly to be ignored. Because just a few days later you can already be quite thirsty again. And that's really not a problem. Certainly not. But if you decide to swing quite a bit in this somewhat melancholic time of year mood, then pay attention. Because there are some things you can no longer do once you have left your twenties behind. And some things you are actually allowed to do when you are safely between twenty and thirty. Have fun with it, in case we inspire you.

1. Having drunk too much at home that you can barely ride your bike to the city. Or walk. Or crawl.

2. Ordering tequila.

3. It means your sincere downfall and there is a chance that after this sip with salt and lemon you will remember very little of your evening. But that's just how it is. That's still quite funny. But after your thirtieth, you need four weeks to recover from that one joke at the bar. And you don't want that.

4. Flirting with the bartender to get free drinks.

5. The men behind the bar find it amusing, but if you stand there as someone over thirty, it might become a bit sad.

6. Drinking vodka-soda red at a pace like regular water.

7. You quickly misjudge yourself after a few glasses. Same effect as that tequila when you're in your thirties.

8. Thinking that you get less drunk from wine than from mixed drinks.

9. Getting dropshots for the whole bar.

10. The next day you won't remember anything, except that you see that bizarre statement on your online banking app. There goes your year-end bonus. Nice if you're still getting student finance, but after that...

11. Thinking that a green, bright pink, or blue drink is ‘fun to try once’.

12. Thinking that drinks with flames and whipped cream are ‘fun to try once’.

13. Getting nauseous in taxis.

14. Let's not talk about personal experiences in this piece, but it can save you a hundred euros in cleaning costs.

15. After about six glasses...

16. Trying to have a good conversation with the police.

17. After about six glasses...

18. Trying to have a good conversation with your best friend.

19. Or your fling.

20. About that fling spoken.

21. Texting at two in the morning. Or at three. An emoji. A period. A question mark. Good job.

22. Thinking that ‘just stopping by’ is a good plan.

23. Alcohol has the treacherous property of giving you a bit more confidence. But that can also be your pitfall. Not every half-relationship is waiting for a very drunk visit in the middle of the night. Even if you think you look good, you probably just look tipsy. But hey, romantic mistakes are there to be made, as a twenty-something.

24. Leaving voicemails with a rolling tongue.

25. After your thirtieth: from no one. This also applies to voice memos. Look, your friends and loves who are also in their twenties probably find it fun, but as a thirty-something, there's a chance they have to listen to your screaming sober on the couch. And they can listen to it a hundred times if they want.

26. Around half past two thinking that your makeup still looks perfect.

27. With your best friend...

28. Thinking that having ‘one red wine’ at home won't hurt. Same effect as the tequila: you'll be out for four weeks. And you hate her.

29. Getting too cheap shawarma with garlic sauce on the way home and eating it in bed.

30. Making a toast at home with garlic sauce. And eating it in bed.

31. ’In the morning thinking that ‘it will be fine’ with your pounding head and making plans with your mother. You can't just stroll around and chat and have fun all day as a thirty-something if you're really feeling it.

Ah, if only I were just twenty again. Just for a moment.