The 5 expert tips to make that first date a success

Now I have been settled for fourteen years and have kept the chapter ‘dating’ extremely small in my life. Not at all consciously, of course, because if you had told me fourteen years ago that my first real date would immediately become my husband, I would have laughed you out loud. And fortunately, there was no WhatsApp, Facebook, and Tinder back then, because oh my lord, what a hassle, all those messages and dating apps. If you are in the middle of that phase and have almost given up on believing in ‘the one’, then I have some essential tips for you to make the path to that first date as successful as possible. And I didn't gather that knowledge myself, but learned it from my dear friend Professor Diederik Jekel, who is accompanying us on vacation for a week. Let the summer dates begin!

• Queen Mary University has researched that the 70/30 rule works best on your dating profile: spend 70% of your profile on who you are and 30% on who you are looking for. If you share relatively less about yourself, it seems like you have something to hide.
• In 2010, a large study showed how insecure people can date most successfully: turn your insecurity into your strength. Because what you find silly about yourself, someone else might actually like. For example, someone who pleases is very caring, and if you are nervous and talk a lot, at least there won't be any awkward silence during the first date.
• Research shows that playing hard to get totally backfires. Every day you wait longer with that one text message, the chance of success decreases. So stop whining and go for it! Without, of course, coming across as desperately crazy...
• Scientists at Stanford University found out in 2013 what clicks best on a first date: both men and women prefer it when the woman has the ‘focus of conversation’ and the man shows that he fits in and understands. So for all the chicks: don't just sit quietly listening, but share something about yourself so that those men also get the chance to come across as ‘understanding’.
• Choose an amusement park as the first date location. In that exciting attraction, you both release chemicals that make you draw closer to each other because you experience something ‘intense’ together. If you don't end up at an amusement park quickly, it's better to go for a drink than to go out for dinner, research has shown. If the date turns out to be disappointing, you can't easily get up and walk away from the appetizer, and having a drink helps the alcohol in such a situation only positively.