The 5 most annoying words in a row

There are those words that immediately tell you who someone is or at least which social club you belong to. You say what you are and what you say is yourself. And yes, you can call me a whiner.

1. Kids

That immediately makes me feel a pang of sourness. Especially when used in combination with the words ‘just nice with the...’. ‘Then we are just nice with the kids to blah blah and bloodie bloe.’ People who say ‘kids’ are usually not my friends and are also heavy users of point 2.

2. Papadag

Wrong on three levels. First: speaking about yourself in the third person is only allowed for the queen. And then also in plural. Second: calling yourself dad in front of people who, as far as you know, do not belong to your offspring. Third: the whole concept of ‘papadag’. It doesn't get more castrating than this. Man, go to work.

3. Wagen

Unless you are Belgian, this word is on the forbidden list. It is also usually used to refer to a ‘car’ with a price tag of four zeros.

4. Klok

See above. Usually not used by Swatch wearers. Dear people, a clock hangs on the wall, on your wrist you wear a watch or a timepiece. Got it?

5. Blessed

Where do I start? But where exactly? First of all, I think you shouldn't take the word ‘blessed’ too lightly. If your child was seriously ill and has been declared cured, then it is appropriate, not with a skinny soy latte with your girlfriends. And certainly not in combination with the namasté emoticon. Come up with something yourself. Something new. Something that really fits the situation. This is just too easy for you.

And yes, if you think I'm a whiner, that's fine. Whiner, lovely word.