The relationship with your mother when you become a mother yourself

Being pregnant and about to become a mother brings something unique with it. You say goodbye to a bit of your own youth. Your own childhood is officially passé.

Because you are still someone's child, but soon you will no longer be the youngest generation in the family. For all those 29 years, you simply had a mother, now one day you will be a mother yourself. And then things change. My mother can't wait for the little ones. She is looking forward to being a grandmother and everything that comes with it. Grandpa too, for sure. A regular babysitting day in the week has already been arranged and yes, she has already bought the twin box. ‘Yes, I saw a nice one, so I thought: better on time.’ We are talking about seven months before birth, right?.

My mama will always be my mama, but yes, I am also becoming a mama now. Somewhere a bit confusing. Can I still whine to her, as her child? Can I still call because I still don't know how taxes work and ask what to do if I have a sore throat? Can I still cuddle with her as if I am ten years old? And cry with her when I don't know what to do anymore? It feels like an impressive phase, because I feel like I am also making my mother a bit older with this. She will suddenly be a grandmother, soon. And she has never been that until now. She is getting a new role in her life, thanks to me. That is special and also a bit strange. Because she is just mama, right? Not grandma?

The roles are shifting and new little ones are joining our family. Not only exciting for my mother, but absolutely for my father and my sisters as well. Seeing each other will not be the same from March next year. The bond between my mother and me is already different, because we are experiencing so much anticipation together. She finds it just as exciting as I do. I send her every little onesie: ‘Is this a nice first-meeting-in-the-hospital outfit?’ We are looking at baby beds, dressers, and self-warming bottles for next to the bed together. I also doubt, for her. Does she like this gender? Does she like a twin? What if she thinks they are silly? Of course, she doesn't think that. But I want to do it right for her, I want everything to be perfect in her eyes, because I am her child after all. And then you want your parents to be proud of you. Nonsense of course, because they are. But sometimes it feels like that. The bond has always been close, but it is certainly special now. We suddenly talk about her grandchildren and my children. It will also change her life, and my father's. Who by the way also can't wait and secretly is already looking forward to his babysitting day. Although fathers might say that less often out loud. I can just be happy that they are both there, for my two little ones. Without grandpa and grandma, the party is not complete.

In a few weeks, I will take you to an ultrasound, mom. Then you can say goodbye to your first grandchildren.